Sunday, May 13, 2007

Kathy Diehl and Heather Wimmer on Mothers

Because of our special two-hour Mother's Day extravaganza, we had two great lessons today. The first was a short talk given by our beloved President, Kathy Diehl. I want to thank her for emailing me the text of her message:

I’d like to credit Sherri Dew for the content and ideas expressed below. Her latest book, “No One Can Take Your Place” includes a chapter, “Are We All Not Mothers?” from which the bulk of this talk was taken.

I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. At times the words ‘mother’ and ‘motherhood’ have divided rather than united us. Some of us feel guilty about having children who didn’t turn out the way we had hoped and prayed; some of us had mothers who were abusive, unloving, bad examples; some of us fiercely miss our mothers who have passed away; some of us haven’t been given the opportunity to have children. Motherhood can be a tender subject that can evoke strong emotion, ranging from great joy to great heartache.

As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers, and we have always been mothers. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits and talents that our Father in Heaven gave us. We tend to equate motherhood with maternity, but in the Lord’s language the word mother has layers of meaning. Eve was called “the mother of all living” before she ever bore a child. Moses 4:26 says, “And Adam called his wife’s name Eve because she was the mother of all living; for thus have I the Lord God, called the first of all women, which are many.” The Lord does nothing with a short-range view; our motherhood began before we were born. Motherhood is more than the bearing of children, though it is certainly that.

Prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood again and again, without the slightest variation. What does this doctrine mean to all women? That motherhood is divine and eternal and core to the nature of every woman. It is the work of the women of God. Elder Matthew Cowley of the Quorum of the Twelve taught that “women are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls…the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” Motherhood has an unparalleled role in helping God’s children keep their second estate.

For reasons known only to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. The delay and the disappointment are not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable doesn’t change our very nature. We are all needed as mothers; all around us are those who need to be loved and led, nurtured and mentored. The spiritual rewards of mothering are available to all. Few of us reach our potential without the nurturing of mothers—the mothers who bore us and the mothers we have been blessed to have as Primary teachers, visiting teachers, youth leaders, neighbors, friends, and maybe even a Relief Society president. These mothers in Israel have loved us, encouraged us, and helped us build a sense of confidence, safety and security while they have shown us where to find peace and truth. Motherhood is not only about those we have borne, but also about those we are willing to bear with. Every woman can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord’s kingdom is magnificent and holy. And our work influences not only the here and now, but reaches into the eternities.

Mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. Let us stand united and steadfast as mothers in Israel and as women of God. As mothers we have a sacred stewardship and a holy crown in the kingdom of God. Today we celebrate that we are all mothers, and we have always been mothers. Happy mothers day!

After Kathy's message, we enjoyed listening to Brandon Bascom play three pieces on the piano, followed by Leslie Richards, who played four pieces on the viola. Then we enjoyed yummy treats in the cultural hall.

For the last hour, we gathered in the Relief Society room for a lesson by Heather Wimmer about celebrating the women in our lives who have mothered us. She started with this quote by President Hinckley: "Gratitude is the very essence of worship." And D&C 59:7 "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things." She explained that she would like to spend this time expressing our gratitude for the women in our lives who have mothered us in various ways.

She began by sharing some stories from her own mother's life, who Heather said is one of her treasures. Heather's mother married a lieutenant in the air force after only ten dates (including the day they went to the temple). She quit her job as a teacher so they could move to France, where she expected to start a family. But after two years, they had been unable to conceive. She received a blessing from a visiting general authority who promised her that if she had sufficient faith, she would be able to have children.

Upon their return to the United States, they visited a friend, Dr. Wooley. Heather's mother asked him if he ever came across any extra babies that needed a home. He said that from time to time, he did meet young mothers who were looking for a family to adopt their babies. It was in this way that Heather's parents were able to adopt first a baby girl, and then a baby boy. When their little girl was old enough to talk, she told Heather's mother that she was praying for a baby sister to come to her mother's tummy. Heather's mother explained that it might be better for her to pray for Dr. Wooley to find them a baby sister, since she had never been able to have a baby in her own tummy. But the little girl insisted that Heavenly Father could do anything, even put a baby sister in her mother's tummy. So Heather's mother joined her prayers with those of her little girl, and in time, she found out that she was indeed pregnant. That little baby was Heather! It was a very difficult, risky pregnancy, but she got through it with the help of many, including her husband. She had two more daughters before her doctor warned her that another pregnancy would probably kill her.

After sharing these experiences, Heather told us some of her mother's favorite expressions. One is "Motherhood is not a popularity contest." Another: "Cut the dramatics." Or, "Failed motherhood again!" This last one was not meant to lay a guilt trip on her teenage daughters, but to comfort herself that she'd have another chance, another day. To conclude her tribute to her own mother, Heather read us Philippians 1:3 "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."

The next part of the lesson involved all of us splitting into small groups to discuss women in our lives who have mothered us. Each group was given a piece of paper to guide their discussion.

The first group was to discuss the word "Bear" by reading 1 Samuel 1: 19-20. Do you know the story of your birth? Tell about your birth mother's gift of life to you.

The second group's word was "Nurture" with D&C 121: 41-42. Bonnie D. Parkin said that nurturing feels like the words in these verses. Who are the women that have nurtured you? Tell about someone who mothered you by nurturing you.

The third group talked about "Protect" by reading 1 Nephi 5:7-9. Mothers always want to protect their children, but can't always do it. How has a mother protected you? Do you know of a prayer or prayers for your protection? Tell about someone mothering you by protecting you or praying for you.

Group four did "Teach" with Alma 56: 47-48. One of the main jobs of mothering is teaching. Who has mothered you by teaching you about faith? What did she teach you? Share your experience about this mother.

The last group had "Lead." Their scriptures were 2 Nephi 31: 9-10 and Proverbs 31:10. As Jesus Christ showed, the best leading is by example. Share an example of a virtuous woman whose influence and example has touched you.

Unfortunately, there was not enough time for each group to report back on their discussion to the rest of us. If anyone is reading this and would like to report on what you talked about in your small group, please leave a comment for us to enjoy. Heather closed with this quote by Sheri Dew from her talk "Are We Not All Mothers?":

Every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else. Every sister in Relief Society, which is the most significant community of women on this side of the veil, is responsible to help our young women make a joyful transition into Relief Society. This means our friendship with them must begin long before they turn 18. Every one of us can mother someone--beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. Every one of us can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord's kingdom is magnificent and holy. I repeat: We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through the dangerous streets of mortality.

3 comments:

LL said...

We ran out of group time before I had a chance to share an experience. Do you mind if I share mine here? My topic was nurturing.

I have been so impressed with the women in this ward. When we moved here, I was absolutely in awe at how amazing you all are and what wonderful examples you all are to me.

When Jill Mitchell spoke to us in Stake Conference, I was touched by her message. She is one of the many women in this ward that I have really admired and looked up to. When she, very candidly, talked about how hard it was for her to start a new good habit, it completely changed my world. I've been admiring you all and thinking how sad it is that I will always be me, and will never be a great wife, mother, or woman. But in the same way you have all worked to become the amazing women that you are, I can make the changes that I need to in my life.

And that is how I have been nurtured, by each of you through your quiet service, friendly smiles, thoughful actions, delicious meals, wise adcvice, and kind words. You are the women who have nurtured me and have changed the course of my life.

HW said...

Thank you ll! That is exactly what I was hoping would happen as I taught the lesson. I hoped people would think of ALL the good women who have nurtured, taught, led and loved them, and many of them are indeed in this ward. I hope more people post experiences like yours.

Becky said...

Loved this! Thanks for sharing! -Becky of Boise Idaho