Never in my life shall I think that something daring would add another laurel to your crown, or earn a pat on your shoulder. What it does is earn a big red face and a redder demeanor.
When colleague K called me to accompany her for Rathinirvedam I didn’t think much of it. She is our film journo and had to do a story on release day. Went along, a little sad at having to miss lunch (have become gigantic eater since touching Ernakulam. Suspect Ekm soil is made of hunger-trigger material to fatten poor outsiders).
Sensed trouble on nearing cinema hall when guys saw our rickshaw and started shouting “Chechi no more tickets” and laughed aloud. Oh oh. Stepping into the cinema hall was like walking on fire! Good gracious all eyes were on us. Not a single woman, no girls. All men, men, men! We entered like aliens and sat like zombies. I tried to pretend I had to attend a call and couldn’t see all the people staring at us. K tried to bury herself in her seat and look invisible. My seat – it was one of my lucky days – happened to be a little raised, making sure everyone saw my head, tall and high, right in the front.
I tried to dissolve into one side of my seat, away from all of human race. A little later, two older women entered the hall and the whole crowd was acting so excited. They were booing and yelling at the top of their voice. Oh my! I wished I could meet Jerry and borrow that invisible lotion he uses to trick Tom.
Two hours of this. And then the end credits roll. I look at K, K looks at me. There is the ordeal of getting out – which would include standing up on two legs and announcing pretty loudly our visibility. We tried to duck into our seats till they all left. But the security guard shouted “Hey get out, don’t create a block by sitting there”. He did that on purpose, like holding a torch against our faces and uncovering our anonymity. Men who passed us made loud n snide remarks on the movie. For us to hear. Addressed to us.
And as we walk out pasting brave expressions on our faces (mine meant suppressing the silly grin that would break open every few seconds) we see to our horror, some media cameras shooting the happy audience. Oh crap there goes my brave front. Am sure the grin is completely out now. And to worsen it, a horrid little man jumps at us with his mic and asks us how the movie was. K, the braver of the two, replies that we are also from the press. We hurry out to the streets to be greeted by passers by with a scowl or smirk.
No Siree, no more dares for moi. Not in this life, not in the next!
Story of a lost journalist 
lol, that would be a hell of an experience. As an adventurous person, you should try this again. Jokes apart, watching movies in Kerala would give you such bad experiences. I remember one such incident, Me and my wife went for ‘Neelathamara’. I think other audience took literal meaning out of ‘Neela’ in Neelathamara, they were shouting and making vulgur comments for entire duration of the movie. They were enjoying even tiny bit of skin lead actress was showing.
My wife learnt some new mallu words that day. Then I realized, even if you pay 4 or 5 times, multiplex is far better.
Comment by Shanil — June 17, 2011 @ 09:58 |
@Shanil, can guess what it must have been like. I recommend invisible lotion for next time.
Comment by Cris — June 18, 2011 @ 10:32 |
Sister,
Please learn the basics of english grammar.
Comment by Anon. — June 18, 2011 @ 03:51 |
@Anon sibling: Will learn to apply it, wud be a shame to try learning it after venturing to teach it once :-).
Comment by Cris — June 18, 2011 @ 10:41 |
I am at a loss for words
Comment by Anon. — June 19, 2011 @ 09:15
That was really a brave attempt girl. I can just not handle this situation, and u can just hear my knee cups knocking against each! Splly in Kerala, people give one such wild stare making sure that you have the feeling of doing something way too odd. Love bangalore for its multiplexes and the cinema booths the malls have, never get into such painful ones!
Comment by Viji Venu — June 20, 2011 @ 21:46 |
Guts madam guts…ho…
Read another good attempt (in malayalam)
http://kayamkulamsuperfast.blogspot.com/2011/06/blog-post_18.html
Comment by Sreeraj Rajendran — June 22, 2011 @ 08:15 |
haha … experience of a life time ..:) .. I think we belong to the most sexually frustrated race in the world ..:) …
Comment by gaavan — July 3, 2011 @ 16:40 |
I remember the time when Matondkar’s Rangeela was released (a decade + ago) and my friend made a brave attempt to watch the movie on the day of release. She came back praising her kuladaivam for bringing her back home in one piece. If any movie goer is made to feel guilty watching a particular movie, then what are me brethren doing there in the first place?? Oh we mallus are known the world over for all the wrong reasons.. Can understand that things haven’t progressed one bit… The baton has been passed on well to the current generation.. I don’t know how it is done though….
Comment by me proud mallu — July 10, 2011 @ 22:02 |
@proud mallu: I wonder if it is only in Kerala that these things happen. Are our neighboring states any better?
Comment by Cris — August 30, 2011 @ 16:06 |
Hey.. My elder sis & her husband watched the movie yesterday. They said the balcony was pretty much empty save for several senior couples there.
Comment by Syam — July 11, 2011 @ 07:04 |
@Syam: maybe they watched a little after the release.
Comment by Cris — August 30, 2011 @ 16:05 |
:o)
Comment by Anish Krishnan — July 24, 2011 @ 00:58 |
@Anish: :p
Comment by Cris — August 30, 2011 @ 15:59 |
I like to believe it is God’s own country, but thr howling and barking as above strengthens my doubts of it becoming Dog’s own country.
Daring attempt.. Hats off for that..
I was just wondering how Aunty might have reacted to this.. 🙂
Comment by Javed Miandad — December 23, 2011 @ 20:45 |