madmarks

my son tristan luis was born on 21/11/2011 at  7am  so today he his a week old  5 week of doing the school run is starting to makeing me so tired with the meds im on on the 17th i see my psychiatrist it went well  my mood was still low had my lithium was put from 400mg to 600mg as my lithium levels was 0.2mmol/l  i.ve 600mg for 5 days now so got to go for blood test in 2 days time  my moods now starting to pick up a bit after being down for over 8 months  took 2 of kids to cineworld over the last week so far i seen

Breaking Dawn – Part 1

3D – Arthur Christmas

Justice

not seeing my Psychiatrist till 12/01/2012  which i think is to long away  when out with my mate at weekend to wet the baby head  had a good nigth out got in 1.30 am tristan and wife was up  he was drinking his  milk  i did not  get up till 11.30 am then it was out to watch the football at my mates house did not get a football bet up over the weekend  there always one that let you down  i only do £1 bets just somethink to look forward to at 3pm

most of the time  my head is mess up with suicidal thoughts and voices  but have to keep together for my wife and kids so cant end up in hospital  and eastenders cancer story line last week made me cry for hours my first step dad die from cancer in 1984 i had  3 months off school to help my mum  look after him  i was 11years old at time..

i  feel like self harming so bad but i cant let my wife or kids down they need me here so i must carry on with the pain for now i phone the crisis team a few week back about much use as a chocolate teapot that it for now take care i will blog  again soon