“The Metaphor” by Budge Wilson
In the short story “The Metaphor” Charlotte has a wonderfully flamboyant English teacher, Mrs. Hancock. Mrs. Hancock has a certain way of making reading, writing and interpreting stories come alive for Charlotte. The teacher to student relationship is very motherly, Mrs. Hancock encourages Charlotte’s large vocabulary and mature writing technique. The grade seven class that Mrs. Hancock teaches all seem to love her extravagant ways, her loving and caring heart and her eclectic and ornate nature.
You can tell she is this way because of the way she speaks, moves and teaches. Her arms waving in the air, her smile wide and her feet bouncing as she walks. She has a peaceful, hippy air to her that all the grade sevens adoured but the grade tens tend to shun her out of their lives, writing and fun activities. You can tell Charlotte feels bad for letting her classmates treat poor Mrs. Hancock this way, but is to overcome by peer pressure to stand up for her. The year goes by and Charlotte doesn’t do as much as smile at Mrs. Hancock, the class continues making fun of her with nicknames and sing-song teasing.
One day at school a shocker came to all, Mrs. Hancock had been hit by a bus outside the school and died! Charlotte can’t handle the pressure and pain of knowing that it was her fault her favorite teacher was gone now. Her parents tried to convince her that the old brassy lady had slipped and fell on the ice. No matter how hard Charlotte tried she couldn’t get the idea that she had been responsible for Mrs. Hancock’s death. The wonderfully enthusiastic teacher would be remember for resembling a birthday cake.
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Too much of this journal is spent re-telling the events from the story. You need to focus solely on Miss Hancock’s character.
Okay, I think I retold it in my own words because that was how I could incorporate character traits, i feel i have lots of traits or Mrs. Hancock and some about Charlotte.
“You can tell Charlotte feels bad for letting her classmates treat poor Mrs. Hancock this way, but is to overcome by peer pressure to stand up for her. The year goes by and Charlotte doesn’t do as much as smile at Mrs. Hancock, the class continues making fun of her with nicknames and sing-song teasing.
One day at school a shocker came to all, Mrs. Hancock had been hit by a bus outside the school and died! Charlotte can’t handle the pressure and pain of knowing that it was her fault her favorite teacher was gone now. Her parents tried to convince her that the old brassy lady had slipped and fell on the ice. No matter how hard Charlotte tried she couldn’t get the idea that she had been responsible for Mrs. Hancock’s death. The wonderfully enthusiastic teacher would be remember for resembling a birthday cake.”
I can certainly identify some character traits in the first half of your journal. However, if you are focusing on Miss Hancock (and the assignment was to select ONE character), then you must stick with her. Only discuss what happens if it helps to reveal something about her.
I should have mentioned that the second half of your journal (which I have quoted) does not maintain this focus.
okay, that makes sense