That's not to say it isn't mildly entertaining (the movie reminds me of Ford Fairlane's immortal line "[it's] like masturbating with a cheese grater: slightly amusing but mainly painful"), but the sheer stupidity of the film is overwhelming. "Big deal" I hear you say, "A dumb action movie? That ain't exactly news", and in many cases that would also be my reaction, but not here. Hell, Independence Day and Deep Blue Sea are among my favourite films, so I'm not completely against dumb films, but I do have my limits, and Con Air definitely crosses them.

The Gulf War has just ended and Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage), an Army Ranger, returns home to his pregnant wife. The evening of his return, Poe and his wife are harassed by a group of drunks at a local bar (where his wife works as a waitress). Later that night, the men attack Poe outside the bar, and Poe is forced to kill one of them when attacked with a knife. The other attackers grab the knife and flee. Unable to prove the existence of the knife, Poe is convicted of involuntary manslaughter and sent to prison. Jump forward a few years and Poe, about to be released on parole, hitches a ride home on a US Marshals Service prisoner transport plane (nicknamed Con Air).

Coincidentally, Poe's plane is also transporting a variety of hard-core criminals to a new maximum-security penitentiary. Among the prisoners are Cyrus 'The Virus' (John Malkovich), a psychopathic murderer; Nathan Jones, AKA 'Diamond Dog' (Ving Rhames) a black militant and former leader of the Black Guerrillas; and Billy Bedlam, a mass murderer. Needless to say, the prisoners manage to overpower the guards and take over the plane. Only Cameron Poe, determined to make it home to his wife and daughter, can stop them. Like I said, not much of a plot.

One thing that can't be denied is the quality of Con Air's cast: John Malkovich, Ving Rhames, Nicolas Cage, Steve Buscemi and John Cusack among them. Sadly, even this pool of talent can't make anything from the film's script. In retrospect, many of them must wonder exactly why they decided to participate in the film. Although some may enjoy the film, I find it very hard to recommend.