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Alcoholism
How Come Antonio Banderas Is Too Stupid to Understand His Wife's Alcoholism?
Antonio Banderas shares his nation's blind spot when it comes to alcoholism.
Posted October 16, 2011
Scene from "The Skin I Live In," starring Antonio Banderas
Antonio Banderas is starring in the latest intellectually hot film by Pedro Almodóvar (a director with whom Banderas often works), The Skin I Live In. Banderas plays a repressed, controlling, insane wreck of a man—a challenge for someone who has also played swashbuckling heroes in movies like The Mask of Zorro. New York Times reviewer Manohla Dargis praised the actor: "It's a pleasure to experience a performance from Mr. Banderas that peels away his persona and burrows under the skin." (See my discussion of how this work differs drastically from Almodovar's earlier films.)
Banderas also directs and produces films, and sings professionally. So how come this incredibly talented man is too stupid to understand his wife's, Melanie Griffith's, alcoholism, as she frequently bemoans? The two have been married 15 years, and seem to have a good, mutually supportive relationship. Banderas himself had to struggle early in his career, and has known his own turmoil and personal difficulties. Yet, according to an interview with Griffith in the AARP Magazine, Banderas was uncomprehending of her alcoholism therapy. Griffith said, “Antonio was supportive to the extent that he can be, but if you're not an alcoholic or drug addict, and you find out that your wife is a bad one, it's hard to deal with. Addiction runs in my family but not his." Banderas seems to think that Griffith can pull herself out of her addiction with his help and that of friends and family -- perhaps even drink again!
What a fool!
But we may trace Banderas' ignorance more deeply than into his own family—it's his whole God-damned country. Which is why I modestly recommended that, in order to end alcoholism, we should nuke Spain.
Banderas is failing to grasp the uniquely American view that alcoholism/addiction is a brain disease inherited from one's family of origin. No style of introducing children to alcohol can short-circuit this process -- except, of course, that by giving children alcohol early in life you turn them into alcoholics (I know, a bit of a contradiction there). Once you discover you are an alcoholic -- well, because you become one -- then you MUST spend the rest of your life attending a support group that explains that you are powerless to be anything BUT an alcoholic. I mean, what's so hard to get about all that, Antonio?
In his defense, consider this: Spain has an official drinking age of 16 but, actually, children of any age are served alcohol in restaurants and cafes. It would be considered rude not to provide a teenager at a restaurant with wine, like the other diners. And yet, according to Time Magazine (in an article that did quote me extensively), "Italy and Spain report very low rates of alcohol dependence or abuse (less than 1 percent and 2.8 percent, respectively) compared with the U.S., where the rate is 7.8 percent."
Clearly, those countries are in national states of denial. But, then, there was the European Comparative Alcohol Study, conducted by leading Scandinavian researchers who favor raising drinking ages and applying greater controls on alcohol across Europe. Yet comparing Northern European countries (like their own) with Southern (like Spain, Italy, and Greece) through examining national health records, the researchers discovered that Northern European countries had six times the alcohol-related mortality rates, both for men and women, as Southern!
I don't know how those Southern countries rigged their alcohol data to have this result. However, I did note that alcohol-control advocate Jurgen Rehm, while recommending raising the drinking age in Italy (which has similar attitudes and policies about youth drinking to Spain), acknowledged that Italy has a far lower alcohol death rate due to traditionally lower rates of accidents and violence involving alcohol than those in Northern European and English-speaking countries. Such a statistic does seem hard to flim-flam.
But, I'm losing the thread of my argument. Obviously, Banderas needs to learn to think about alcohol the way Griffith and we do in America. They can then teach that to their child together and his stepchildren from Griffith's prior marriages (did those husbands—at least one of whom, Don Johnson, was alcoholic himself—understand Griffith's alcoholism better than Banderas?). That way the kids can avoid alcoholism. Well, not exactly avoid it, since Griffith wants to explain to them how it unavoidably runs in their family. But so that they can join AA and go to rehab after becoming alcoholics, and then rejoin them after they relapse, like their mother did.
Forget those stupid Spanish views of alcohol and drinking. Spaniards know nothing about alcoholism—they just don't get it like us brilliant Americans.
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P.S. (October 17, 2011):
Subject: This article really should
Submitted by Antaeus on October 16, 2011
This article really should have been tagged "satire"—which raises the question why it was published in Psychology Today. Moving on to the proverbially greener pastures...
Subject: YES!
Submitted by Stanton Peele on October 17, 2011
You must tell people when you are being satirical—otherwise, they might take you seriously and follow your logic—and where would that lead them? Why—to the current state of alcohol affairs in America—of which Melanie Griffith (as a privileged insider) is one of the great consumers!
Subject: What may one ask does this
Submitted by Isa mendoza on October 17, 2011
What may one ask does this have to do with psychology? Viewed by a spaniard here as a disgustingly racist attack on a beautiful country and culture. Don't even bother making the comparison with the United States of America - there is no grounds in the argument and no doubt as to which is the better, less racist and more culturally aware country.
Some people think Spain is superior to America! Haven't they heard of American exceptionalism? We and our addiction treatment system and our views of alcohol and banning drinking by those under 21 are the best! The rest of the world should adopt our approaches and policies -- and they are.
But, then:
Subject: Hello Isa, my name is Javier
Submitted by Javier on October 17, 2011
Hello Isa, my name is Javier and as you can guess I am another spaniard. I just wanted to tell you that this article that I ended up enjoying a lot is actually written in a sarcastic way, trying to make an american reader that the way they are handeling alcoholism isn't working. And that us, by introducing alcohol when we are young, end up understanding the value of moderate drinking and the risks of heavily drinking. At least that's what I understood, un saludo!
Then again:
Subject: almost made me spit out my coffee
Submitted by A on October 17, 2011
Hilarious.
Sometimes sarcasm draws a better picture of a situation than a straightforward attempt at communication ever could.
Now...what the hell do we do to change this train wreck view of alcohol and drug use we have here in America? Too bad that northern Europe had a bigger influence on American culture than Spain.
