There are a few shows that I love to watch.  There is one particular show that at first I had a love/hate relationship with.  Nobody in my house will even be in the room when it is on.  I have literally sobbed during episodes at times but I just could not stop watching it.  There is something about the real life injected into this show and how it weaves it all together from the present and the past that just has kept me watching it through the years.

After an incredible nap today on this Sunday during COVID-19 quarantine life (which is not normal for me), I was scrolling through my recorded shows to find something to watch and found that I somehow I missed seeing the season finale nearly a month ago of this show.  Life was sure different a month ago.

This Is Us. A show about life.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  It is filled with love, joy, anger, pain, everything in between and then it starts all over again.  How all of those things fit together and make you the person that you are.  The family that you are.  How a family of people raised in the same house with the same circumstances are impacted so differently and tell a different story from the same events of their family history.  How the events of your life impact every ounce of being you become and how you can choose to let them define you or change you.

The show flips back and forth between the present day life of this family and the past from their individual perspectives.  Though there have been a few things sprinkled throughout the series about the future of this family, the final episode of the season really starts to show you a glimpse of the lives of some of the actual people born from the decisions we have watched unfold throughout the series.

It was a blatant reminder that the future of the decisions and events that are made or happen in a split second can literally impact a lifetime.  Not only a lifetime of a person but the entire line and creation of a family.  (I would inject some examples here but would not want to spoil the viewing experience of anyone that has not watched the show.  By the way, if you need a quarantine binge watch you can start here…but I would warn you to grab some tissues.)

I found myself literally smiling today during those glimpses of the future and seeing the faces of the people born or impacted by those moments in years past.  Some of those moments intentional and some….not so much.  We have all had some of both of those.  Those who have been watching this series about this family unfold, have been watching the present and the past and then got to jump to the future and see some of the life and good that came from the it all.  There was a man on the show that said something so profound it caused me to stop what I was doing and grab my computer to start typing.  He was referring to a song that he sang during one of the saddest moments of his life and then again during one of the happiest moments of his life.

“That song made us happy, it made us sad, it made us happy again — the whole human experience wrapped up in that one song…the trick is not trying to keep the joys and the tragedies apart. You’ve got to let them…coexist…If you can…forge ahead with all that joy and heartache mixed up together inside of you, never knowing which one’s gonna get the upper hand…life has a way of shaking out to be more beautiful than tragic.” ~ Dr. K

Life right now is uncertain in the midst of the war of this disease our world is facing.  Things happening right now will impact lives, families, business, churches, governments, communities, states, countries and our world forever.  We are living in a time that will go down in the history books as something that at moments is like a Sci-Fi movie.  Something like what we have read about in history of the past that we could not imagine what they went through.  Well we are here.  Right in the middle of a story that will be in history as a story of tragedy, a story of loss, a story of hope, a story of determination, a story of courage, a story of rebuilding, a story of family and a story of victory.

Every individual story will be different during this time.  The same situation will play out in lives around the world for a person but will result in different outcomes.  Partially because of opportunity.  Partially because of the drive of a person.  Partially because of simply how a person was raised.  The reality is that we are all a product of a mix of historical good and bad that we will probably never truly understand the how or why behind or where it started originally.  The one thing that I do know is that each person has the ability to decide the way in which they will live out their destiny.  The way in which they will endure the tragedy in their life.

Today I am thankful for “The Moment” that changed my life.  I am thankful for the “Hope” that I have always clung to in my marriage to take us to the place we are today.  I am thankful that though I did not have a relationship with my earthly father, there is “Hope for the Fatherless” centered around my Heavenly Father, Jesus.   I am thankful for people who take the time to make sure they can impact people through as many moments as possible like “Two Sisters.  Changing Lives” and for people that have come into my life for a season to teach me about things like “Puzzles. Autism. Love.”  I am thankful for every study I have done or taught over the years that have helped me do things like how to “Get Over Yourself” and get on with my purpose.

What will you make of these moments during this time and how will you let them shape the story of your life?  Think for a moment about the impact that your decisions might have not only on you, but your children and your grandchildren.  Those that are already born and on this earth and those that are not even in human existence yet.  What legacy will you create?

I am quite sure there will always be a void in my life on this earth this time of year.  I have spent the majority of my life without an earthly father.  Divorce started it and then conflict, distance and other things finished it over the years.  My relationship with my dad was over.  For years and years, I would pick up that phone and just let it ring with no answer on the other side.  I would hope that something would change to put it on the mend.  Years went by and nothing.  Nothing ever changed.

Sometime during 2011, while I do not remember the actual day, I do remember the call and the pain like it was yesterday.  Someone randomly searched his name on the internet and underneath his name it said died in 2008.  I literally broke down.  How could this happen?  How could he have been gone that long without me knowing?  How did he die with the pain of knowing that I would never again have the opportunity to make things right?  Never having the opportunity to say goodbye.  Never having the opportunity to share his grandchildren’s lives with him.  While he was in my life and had met my first child, he did not even know that I had a second child.  He would never see her beautiful face.

As I searched for answers about his death and the timing of it, the pain actually worsened by me finding out that he had been sick for months before he died with cancer.  Not that it would have really made it easier by it being something sudden with no warning but knowing that he would have had the time and ability to reach out to me and let me know of his illness and did not contact me made that pain greater for me.  The words of the obituary did not even include the name of my sister and I as his children.  Definitely a low point for me.  The rejection was pretty unbearable for a season.

There are lots of things I think that can happen to a person when they do not have a father figure in their life or one that comes and goes.  Some fall into lives of bad choices and pain, some are determined to rise above it and some I think never really realize the true impact that it had on their life and why they are the way they are.

Thankfully during my life, especially as an adult, I have had others that have played that role of a father to me.  First of all, my heavenly Father.  The one who will never fail me and comforts me through anything unconditionally.  No matter my faults.  Beyond that my husband, my father-in-love(recently heard that term and love it!!), my cousin, other relatives and many counselors and friends that I have turned to during my life when I did not have my earthly father to turn to.

Just as you see all the pictures of people posting about their fathers that have been a great influence on their lives, whether still here on this earth or have left this place, there are so many I know that have other types of pain and sorrow with their relationships or lack thereof with their fathers that are probably way more complicated and painful than mine.  I can only hope that those people can see the hope found in our heavenly father that never disappoints.  Never fails.

Happy Father’s Day to all those great dads out there.  And honestly, if you are not a great dad or you don’t have a great relationship with your dad, it is never too late.  Just take the time and watch the movie I Can Only Imagine, and you will see a real-life testimony of a life and relationship changed through Jesus and Jesus alone.  (You may want to bring a box of tissues!) And if it is too late for you to make that mend like me, just pick up and be the best that you can be and know that your past does not define you.  It makes you who you are and you choose what to keep and what to learn from and what to rise above from.

My prayer is that one day I will see my earthly father again.  Until that day my hope is in Jesus.  My creator and my Heavenly Father.

Quite honestly, I was against it at first.  I was angry and even refused to help fill out the application or be a part of the process ~ which I might add is a lengthy one.  At one point, I actually made him sign a contract that he would not even talk to me about it until after our big fall event because he was driving me so crazy with it.   I think in some ways I felt like he was abandoning me.  The life that we have.  The comfort of him being here every day.

The day that really turned the corner for those feelings for me was right after Hurricane Irma came through.  It was a devastating day that we had to watch a friend and trusted law enforcement officer laid to rest after a horrible car accident that took her life way too soon.  Thinking back, really any time he saw one of his former co-workers, you could see a bond.  A friendship that went deep.  A brotherhood.  That day was different though for me.   As we were surrounded by the family of law enforcement officers and first responders from all over that mourned and literally wept together over this lost life, I saw him in a different way.  He had been out of the profession for over 15 years, but it was like he was a long-lost family member that was back in his element in that moment.  Just without the uniform.

Remember the lengthy process I told you about?  Well fast forward about 6 months and on March 12^th, 2018, my husband Anthony will start the academy to be a Florida Highway Patrol Officer.  With just a short time left until he leaves the reality is sinking in.  He will be gone for 6 and a half months to Havana, Florida, which is about 5 hours away from our home.  He will be able to leave most weekends during that time so thankfully we will have that time together despite the drive.

This year we will celebrate 25 years of marriage.  We have been together for almost 27 years since I was 16 years old.  When you are together that long, and you have a change like this in your life, it begins to put things in perspective for you.  We have been through it all.  The stresses of family, careers, finances and just life in general.  There have been many highs and many lows and many in-betweens.  But there was always a glue.  I guess almost a gorilla glue.  One that kept our hearts bonded together through every moment of joy, sadness, anger, hurt and whatever else came our way.  It has not been a perfect and easy road but one that as we have traveled together, has now brought us to an amazing place of love, forgiveness, grace and peace.

They always say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  In our case, even before the absence, it seems like the anticipation and reality of him being gone has drawn us closer these last few months.  We live together, work together and do the majority of our life together.  When he leaves on Sunday to make the trip north, there will be a missing piece to the puzzle of my daily life.  A hole that is normally filled with my soul mate.

During this time, I will choose to cling what I am thankful for…

• Every year of our marriage. The good and the bad.  Each one has shaped us to be the couple and people that we are today.
• The two beautiful and amazing children that we have and are so incredibly proud of.
• Our home and life that we have built together.
• The business that we have built from the ground up as partners.
• The faith and endurance we have had in our lives to weather each and every storm. (Our gorilla glue) 🙂
• His desire to enter into a profession that will serve our state.
• Most of all, our faith in God, that he sent his son to die for us and his place in our lives.

I know that now it feels like an eternity but that the time will pass quickly, and he will be back before we know it.  There is a mixture of emotions and thoughts about what is to come and the challenges I will have because of all the things that he does in our daily lives.  I know that God has prepared us for this and will put the right people and things in place for me to fill that void.  (Like picking up sod in the field!)

I am looking forward to the weekends ahead.  We will take it one day at a time and while I know there will be challenges that lie ahead for the next 6 months, I am so incredibly proud of him and thankful for the man that he is today.  The love of my life.

I will miss you my love.  XO

30 days ~ 30 videos ~ celebrating 30 years.  When I began doing this interviews and meeting this SOJ family, I saw something that I was fascinated with.  For years, I watched from the outside and attended the play and was captivated by it, no matter how many times I saw it.  Last year my daughter was in it for the first time and I spent some time there during the practices and performances and got to see behind the scenes.  Among all of the costumes, makeup, stage, props and animals ~ I found an incredible group of people that I think thought I was a bit crazy at first but now are used to seeing me behind the camera.  Even though I don’t play a part or have a role in the production, they have welcomed me into the family and I am so blessed to be a part of it in a small way.

Today’s video is the visionary behind this production ~ Mike Graham.  I have watched this man over the years and seen his heart through the continued pressing on of this ministry.  The vision, dedication, love, heart and enduring spirit in Mike is amazing.  I am sure that it is a difficult thing for anyone to play the parts of Jesus, Noah or Moses while feeling unworthy as we all would ~ when you see him up close and get to know him, you can see the humbleness of a man that had to overcome those feelings and relentless spiritual warfare so he could continue to share the Bible come to life that has changed countless lives with over 500,000 in attendance in the last 30 years.  With any great difference you make for God, the battle will be fierce.

Unity in Christ.  That is a passion of mine that God has laid on my heart over the years.  It is not about the walls of the church that you attend.  It is about Jesus.  I love where he talks about the unity of this ministry.  It is a group of people from different denominations, backgrounds, families and communities.  As Mike talks about in this video, now that I think of it, besides a few people mentioning it to me when sharing their stories, in all the people I have met, we talk about Jesus and faith, but where they attend a church is never a focus.  The focus is on Jesus and sharing his love to those in attendance and involved in the cast and crew.  As with any family and with humans involved, there are challenges, but they make it work!  I believe that it is because Jesus is at the center of this family! 

Mike had a vision to produce The Story of Jesus, The Story of Noah and The Story of Moses.  In the 30th year ~ he miraculously achieved that dream by bringing The Story of Moses to life.  The challenge of bringing a new production together in the time they did it was enormous!  It was truly a miracle to see how God worked to bring this story to life for the ministry and it has been an incredible journey for me to watch it happen.  From the auditions to the production ~ I can not really put into words the blessing this has been to me and so many others.

Tonight is the final night of The Story of Moses.  It is a bittersweet night for everyone because they have had a great extended family reunion like they do each year with an exhausting amount of work, but continually getting refueled by a new production, baptisms, lives changed, the faces and stories of the spectators and how far they travel and the relationships they have with each other. 

With the final night comes the final task of the year.  Tear down and clean up.  If you have been there, you have seen the set and I hope you can imagine the work that it takes to construct it.  Along with that, I hope you can imagine the work that it takes to tear it down.  Especially after you have spent the last months working in the production along with the other things in your life.  One of the things Mike describes in the video is the help that they could use.  From laundry and packing of the costumes, trash pickup, cleaning, tear down of the set to the packing up of the props, putting a puzzle together getting all that stuff back in the trailers and countless other tasks ~ it is an exhausting job for the small group that remains.

THEY NEED HELP!!!!!  Whether you attended the production or not, if you are able in any way to help, it starts tomorrow for 3 days.  On Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, they need willing and able people to help from teenagers to adults, the more the better.  If you can come for one hour or a full day, they will put you to work ~ day and night.  Every hour that someone shows up will take an hour off of one of the few remaining that don’t leave until the last thing is packed up and cleaned up.  I have created a Facebook event for you to share and invite your friends to help.  This is a perfect way to serve with a small group or as a family.  I am asking that our community come around this ministry and take some of the load off those that have made this possible.  Thank you in advance for your help and prayers!  Let this be the easiest cleanup in 30 years!!!   

May God bless the producer, production team, cast and crew tonight and in the years to come for their obedience.  Deuteronomy 28:1-14

Last night ~ lets make sure it is a sell out!

Click here to access pictures of the performances, practices and construction.

Click here to access videos from previous days!

One more night to have the opportunity to see The Story of Moses.  There are not many tickets left!  Visit their website or call 863-375-4031 to purchase tickets.  Don’t miss this chance!  You will be blessed!

Lighting.  Sound.  Special Effects.  Three things that help to capture the audience when Power & Light Productions brings to the bible to life.  The cry of a baby, music that will send chills from head to toe and the parting of the Red Sea in the middle of a cattleman’s arena.  There are so many things that make this production amazing and as I have shared, there are many people that help to make that happen.  Today’s video is of a man that helps to put together the vision that Mike has in his head and coordinate that with the lighting, sound and special effects.  The timing must be precise.  I have gotten to see behind the scenes of most aspects of the play and the last couple of weeks I had the opportunity to sit in the booth where this part of the production is managed and I again was amazed.  It is pretty awesome what a team of volunteers get together and do in this “tiny little town”.  Thankful for this team and for what they do to make this production special.

Click here to access pictures of the performances, practices and construction.

Click here to access videos from previous days!

One more night to have the opportunity to see The Story of Moses.  There are not many tickets left!  Visit their website or call 863-375-4031 to purchase tickets.  Don’t miss this chance!  You will be blessed!

If you have been following the stories of the cast and crew of this amazing ministry for the last 27 days, you have watched many different perspectives from people of all ages and situations in life.  Some born into the production, some joining in more recent years.  Everyone with their own reason they are involved.  Today’s video is of a man that might not always feel comfortable in situations because he has PTSD but he has found peace in this production with the SOJ family.  Thankful this can be a blessing in his life to give him a comfortable place to serve.

Click here to access pictures of the performances, practices and construction.

Click here to access videos from previous days!

One more weekend!  Just 2 nights left to have the opportunity to see The Story of Moses.  There are about 1,000 tickets left!  Visit their website or call 863-375-4031 to purchase tickets.  Don’t miss this chance!  You will be blessed!

Today’s video is of a man that has been in the production from the beginning.  While I do not know him well, in the little bit of time that I have been around him, I have seen a man, along with his beautiful wife, (Story of Moses ~ #7) that have such dedication for this production.  They are faithful in all areas from the parts that they play to the incredible amount of work that they put forward in the construction and set up.  They are faithful to Mike in every way possible to ensure that his standards are met with the production.  I love the way he describes Mike Graham and the role that he plays in his life, this ministry and his church.

This year he shares the role of Moses with the Mike.  While he has played many roles over the years, he has been been playing part of the role of Jesus in recent years.  As he describes, you will always find him out interacting with the crowd and taking endless pictures with spectators.

Click here to access pictures of the performances, practices and construction.

Click here to access videos from previous days!

One more weekend!  Just 2 nights left to have the opportunity to see The Story of Moses.  There are about 1,000 tickets left!  Visit their website or call 863-375-4031 to purchase tickets.  Don’t miss this chance!  You will be blessed