VAULT Ultra Lounge

This is probably my second favorite night spot in downtown San Jose after Studio 8 (http://www.yelp.com/biz/qROazVxWRp244UgQ11FEHQ). As the name indicates, it is built entirely within a former bank vault from days of yore, so it has that nostalgic feel as you walk down the red carpet into the front entrance way.

The night life in SJ is more like a much smaller, more sterile version of LA, with minimal drama and carefree attitudes, as opposed to the griminess of San Francisco. Many people claim that SJ bars and clubs are artificial and bush league, or even use the dreaded "G" word (ghetto), but I don't find either to be the case at all.

For one, who doesn't like having clean, urine free streets, where you never feel like your life or personal property might be violated at any given moment? Also, patrons here are more relaxed and open minded than in their northern counterpart. I have never seen a race related incident at any of the joints down in San Jose, whereas in San Francisco, I've witnessed it too many times to count. Imagine that... a city where Asians make up over 40% of the population (SF), yet get continually picked on.

Down in SJ, an Asian cat would have just as much a chance with a hot blondie as any other guy. Perhaps it has something to do with SJ being more of a local scene, representing the "real" Bay Area, while SF draws in non-locals or recent migrants who don't know what's up. Here, it's like Rodney King's dream of everyone getting along. One love, baby.

As far as The Vault itself goes, I would say that it's more of a place to relax than to dance. After all, it is called a lounge, and not a club. The actual dance area on the second floor is a bit small, and the stereo system isn't even permanently built in, but it serves a purpose if you feel the need for some movin' and groovin'. However, most people come here knowing full well that this isn't your best bet if you feel like shaking your thing.*

The design of the interior is rather lavish, reminiscent of a Victorian house. The staircase leading to the upstairs dance floor is one of those fancy types that has two entrances to the left and right that merge into one going straight up. The bar is long and well packed, with plenty of room to roam.

I never go out on weekends anymore, so I can't speak for those days, but on Thursday nights, this place is often standing room only, with many of SJ and beyond's finest lining up on the red carpet. The chances of getting into a fight or any other kind of trouble are minimal, and parking is always a cinch. I know many people are reluctant to give San Jose the time of day (or shall I say, night), but that's all the better because I enjoy this place just the way it is.

* I hear that there is a second dance floor, but it is never open when I come.

I rarely go to Vault, but whenever I do I usually have a good time.

$20 (the usual amount on most weekend nights) is definitely way too much to pay for cover at this place. I would pay no more then $10, and that's only if the party is poppin'!

The crowd here is a little bit older then the people who go to Pearl, Wet, etc. Which basically means less thugs haha. Drinks aren't the cheapest, but they are priced fairly with mixed drinks and shots being around $9. Patron and Hennessy shots are $12, which is about the same as everywhere else. And the bartenders are decent, I complained about the drink being too weak one time, and the girl gave me a new one which was nice of her.

I think I'm being generous right now with 4 stars, but maybe its because I was here on Halloween a couple nights ago, and had a bomb ass time!

4 stars because I'm feeling generous, and I want to give all the praise to George and his fellow bartenders, who were so great to us last night. While I was there early in the evening for a private party, and can't base this off of what it's like later in the night, I can say that there's something awesome about this space in a weird Playboy mansion/murder-mystery house sort of way. It used to be a bank back in the day, and they converted one of the old vaults into a dark room where it seems like orgies or something shady is going on inside.

There's a small room underneath the staircase, which is probably an office or storage room, and there are mirrors on the walls outside of it. My bf was convinced they were 2-way mirrors and decided to moon one. I'm pretty sure he only exposed himself to innocent bystanders nearby.

So, the space itself is pretty cool, and I could totally see it as a perfect spot for a masquerade party, but more like an "Eyes Wide Shut" one. I admit, I've driven/walked by Vault plenty of times, peeked in and just kept walking. It's really not my type of scene.

Like I said, kudos to George and the bartenders there, who made our $10 GG shots worth every dollar. We had 4 shots each, so you can guestimate my level of soberness.

GHETTO TO THE MAXO.

It if wasn't for Donald Glaude last night, you wouldn't catch me in this mofo.

How considerate of the so-called "owner" to bring us in front of the line and we still had to pay $10 cover. Downtown SJ hospitality at its finest.

It looks big, but it's rather small. There are 3 bars, one in the front, back, and upstairs. Bartenders are good for the most part and there was no real hassle with the bouncers BUT the space sucks and my black jacket was stolen within 10 minutes. So do consider coat check.

VIP tables crack me up. No, thanks.

Donald was awesome, so I will give it 2 stars for pity sake.

The owner recently contacted me, politely asking me to try the Vault again and experience the type of service they provide. It did not want me to return, but it did make me reconsider my original rating of one star.

My first review was a bit harsh, but in the end, I stand by everything I said. I was knocking how much it costs to get in, buy a drink, and pretty much enjoy yourself. My idea of a fun evening does not include rubbing elbows with tools, being ignored by girls with too much make up on, losing my hearing, and wasting $100 at the bar.

But as much as I do not enjoy going to the Vault, I will admit they have stellar service. You just have to pay a lot of money to experience it.

Back in 2004, I was a part of a bottle service group in the Red Room. Not sure how much was charged, but my portion was $40. There was at least 12 to 15 of us in there. You do the math. Regardless of the cost, the service was excellent.

Back in 2005, I was a part of bottle service near the entrance. It was a terrible location for a table and bottle service as the ladies in our group were freezing (from the open door). But the service was once again stellar.

So in the end, I will raise the score 1-star for the excellent service (that you need to pay extra to experience). The place still has overpriced drinks and has a terrible layout where it is hard to sit and "lounge."

So what exactly is "ultra" about this place besides the prices?

Bouncers suck. Directions to coat check suck. Music is whatever. People are much older than I'm used to. "VIP" section REALLY sucks.

The breakdown:
- Bouncer in the front wouldnt let us in to the VIP section because it was "closed" even though our group arrived literally minutes after. So we had to pay cover even though he let our other friends in later for free. That's what you get when you a hire an asshole as a bouncer :(

- Coat check is DOWNSTAIRS next to the bathrooms somewhere. Soo... when you leave, there's going to a bumrush downstairs for the coat check AND bathroom. Yay!

- There are two "rooms", upstairs is the "trendy" house music. WOW, a really older crowd. And the hiphop room was PAACCKKEDDDD!

- VIP area was literally the corner next to the door.

It's a good thing a friend works the bar or else I'd never go here ever again!

Another San hoes-zay letdown...

Friday night...

Music was okay, crowd was terrible, cute girls were minimal but I put on my hard hat and went to work, cuz I wasn't gonna stand around with my balls in my hand.

Early in the night, I'm literally trapped by a girl against the bar...I'm leaning against the bar and she's in front of me with both her hands leaning on the bar and me in between. She was not cute, nor ummm...thin. Under normal circumstances I would've done a football swim move escape...but the place was so wack I didn't care. I entertained her for a while but then made my escape.

I could go into more details about the night, but I'd prefer not to incriminate myself.

Best part of the night was....sleeping in the car on the way home.

When you've gone to a club and have found you enjoy talking to the woman working in the bathroom more than the clientele, you know you've made a bad decision in coming.

Clubs in San Jose are not the best anyway, but I wanted to like this one since a handful of my friends keep getting VIP there. I have no idea what anything costs because the tables usually had booze provided, but the drinks were strong. The music was typical club music. I've spent most of my visits there sitting on the sofas, though, because I was just having blah times when I went.

It's too bad because the building is a cool concept. It was an old bank, hence "The Vault." But to be honest, it'd be better to admire the building from the outside rather than the inside. You'll probably enjoy yourself more.

EDIT: I had to increase the Vault's rating in light of a situation that occurred at the PURE Nightclub in Las Vegas. After seeing what happened to my friends, and the bruising that they received, I feel compelled not to put Vault so far down in the trash heap. So Vault, enjoy your new found star, but remember, you're almost down there with PURE.

Original Critique:

Vault deserves one star--because at least they were playing some sort of 80s compilation the other night. But after that, it was all down hill...

Vault "Ultra Lounge" needs to rename themselves, "Vault: Ultra LAME." This place is lame lame lame! Picture it. First off, you go on a Friday night (and I came from San Francisco no less) and you must negotiate the worst traffic, on Los Angeles proportions, because "Downtown San Jose" sequesters all of the night life to about 3 blocks. Then again, it's not much of a night life either.

After parking, you come to the front of the club, which is a converted bank building. Unfortunately, the historical Tiffany glass skylight should have told the San Jose Preservation Committee to fight such an atrocious establishment from opening.

All the employees are dapperly dressed in suits. Unfortunately, they all looked like Mormons proselytizing on Market and Powell on the weekends. They all had little golden name badges (sort of like Mormons as well). But the big difference between Mormons and these people, is that Mormons at least know how to read, which is more than I can say for the brutish, boorish and bad attitude staff at the Vault. Most of them look as if they read only Yahoo! Personals ads.

The VIP area we were supposed to have was really a corner inside the door of the club with one of those airport-ticket-counter-line-separator-elastic band thingies. Some VIP area. Also, be wary of their "premier bottle service." $150 for a bottle of Grey Goose? You have to be kidding me. Yes, I understand that bars have to pay and increased mark up on alcohol at wholesale, but even then, $150 is a rip off, especially if we're in the "VIP Area." Oh yeah, I forgot, we were shoved in a corner, so really, we should have been expecting to get ripped off, which was just about to be proven further...

After finding out that these bottles were ungodly expensive, I decided to go to the bar, and get a cocktail. "One Bombay Gimlet" please. But what should the bartender do? Pull Bombay SAPPHIRE, which is too herbal for the simplicity of a gimlet (and presumably more expensive) and then mix it with ROSE'S LIME! Then charge me $13 for it. Excuse me? First, you used the more expensive alcohol, followed by pouring some Rose's Lime in to it? You couldn't even squeeze real lime juice in there? You had to put in green high fructose corn syrup? Were you prepping for Saint Patrick's Day? Could you be dumber than that?

Obviously, I was the dumb one for being there.

Continuing on, if I saw another pair of denim (nary of a pair of any good denim--mostly standard 501s) or stripey shirt (Club Monaco anyone?) or Payless Shoe Source shoes, I would have barfed. Let's not even talk about the women. I think the brush I've painted with here is pretty broad.

So.....

The jist?

If you're looking for LAME people, and a loud and LAME place to go drink at, head down to VAULT: ULTRA LAME!

PS--forgot to mention, while outside smoking, I turn to see along Santa Clara Avenue, a rented mobile billboard advertising... THE VAULT! So popular you have to rent a mobile billboard to rove up and down the street huh? Well, keep trying Vault!

Waited in line for 30 mins w/ only 12 people ahead of us, pay $20 cover, very limited space, there was a line to get upstairs complete w/ douche bag security....WTF, Paid $29 for 3 drinks, finally got upstairs and the space was even smaller. Went to take a piss, the bathroom was flooded.

This place has a great variety......................................................................of DOUCHE BAGS.

Much better places to go in Downtown San Jose, this place is dissapointing, I went here like over a year ago and the lay out was more open and not sectioned off like it is now. 2 thumbs down