Medusa Lounge

I'm beyond tempted to give Medusa's 5 stars because of it's incredible dancing nights, friendly bartenders, and dive bar vibe. But at the same time I can't because it has the atmosphere and ventilation of a cramped hot basement with shitty bathrooms.

But Holy Hell can it be fun. when we went here to kill a final hour dancing during our fourth of July festivities we were treated to some incredible music courtesy of Hurrah DJ's. And you best believe that they had me saying Hurrah thanks to the old school Sneaker Pimps, Daft Punk, and then some that they played.And even though we hardly danced for an hour it was so action packed that it felt like we were going longer.

toss in the crazy Medusa themed graffiti on the wall, the drink specials, no cover charge, and great DJ nights that featuring the likes of DJJC, Philadelphyinz, and Then some, and for a weird place Medusa's is on point!

Small setting, fantastic DJ playing that night. Definitely more of the obscure/hipster music, rather than top 100's. Getting into the venue is pretty fun too, as it looks like a single tiny shack from the outside and then you go down a flight of stairs.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit."

You will say this 100 times while you're here.

You will say it when you see how much it costs for a shot and a beer ($4).

You will say it when you see the male to female ratio (roughly a million to one).

You will say it when you hear how unbelievably, irrationally good the DJ is.

You will say it when you walk into the bathroom and realize it is the dirtiest bathroom in all of Philadelphia, and seriously, I've seen someone shit in a urinal before.

You will say it even louder when you go back and realize that someone tried to glue the toilet seat back to the toilet with liquid fucking feces.

You will say it after blacking out and throwing up outside with no consequences whatsoever.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

When I'm not pounding specials at Bob n Barbara's, I'm grinding it up against Philly's finest in the rathskeller that is Medusa. It's a dive but those are the best and it's in Center City, which amid its neighboring posh and refined establishments, Medusa's a godsend.

It's always a friendly crowd and the only bar in this area where you'd likely find the alternative folk. It often features a famous array of my favorite local DJs and when you're in the mood for a sweaty, crowded and deliciously filthy dance floor, Medusa is like none other.

Remember in "Pretty in Pink" when Molly Ringwald and Annie Potts characters used to hang out at Cats, this cool, dark punk club that they had to walk downstairs to get to? And the walls were all black and the music was loud, the Rave-Ups were playing an awesome set and they sat at a table with Dweezil Zappa and blabbered on about Duckie Dale and Blaine, the rich guy ("that's not a name, that's a major appliance!")? That is EXACTLY what this club reminded me of.

Luckily, "Pretty In Pink" is one of my favorite movies of all times, and I always wanted to be Molly Ringwald, work at Traxx Records, drive a VW Karmann Ghia and hang out at that punk club. Sadly, though, I think we got there a little too early (at least that is what I am telling myself - it was around 11:30 or so on a Saturday night) for anything to be going on, so it was quiet and kinda lonely. Good, cheap drinks, though. And lots of seating. My friend was afraid of getting cooties from the bathroom, so beware.

Whenever I want to relive my 1980's fantasies (which these days is pretty darn often) I will come back here, especially if they do a new wave, punk night (the website says this is Mondays, so I might have to give it a try). That, my friends, would be as close to perfect as the soundtrack to every John Hughes film ever made.

Walked to this basement club on a Saturday night past eleven pee emm. Lots of people around. Seems to be a safe area to be in because you're surrounded by like-minded folks.

Low low low ceiling. As a midget, standing proudly at almost 5'1", I felt kind of tall or that I had stumbled into a weird Willa Wonka or Alice in Wonderland type morphed world. Two friendly ladies serving drinks at the bar. Cheap drinks. We stuck with PBR. A classic, right?!

There were no yucky men trying to hump you, at least not on this night. It's just you and your buddy or buddies grooving, getting sweaty, jumping up and down...and maybe throw in a little bump and grind. It didn't get too crowded, too...which is a huge plus in my books. I don't necessarily want to feel your arm hair (plus sweat) on mine, you know? DJ was pretty good. I can give it the generic type as electronic but I'm sure it's more specific than that.

The bathrooms were pretty gross, though. Dirty. Smelly. The works.

Medusa's not wheelchair accessible, but every Friday night I roll my A05 Deluxe with padded seat and double embossed upholstery super chrome polished finished wheelchair down about thirteen steps to get to the harem of dimes, superb beer selection and the best DJs in Philly.

Just kidding.

But honestly, I love it.

I've been stumbling into Medusa for about three years now and it's definitely my calm before the storm. It's where I meticulously devise Saturday night outings that define the word debauchery.

Real talk, if you're a Black heterosexual single young adonis like myself, there's not going to be much here for you. Gone are the incredible Zodiac nights with classic hiphop/r&b music and eclectic single females.

Hipsters bouncing up and down to "your breakfast" "time after time" and ordering PBR every 45 seconds is what you get, bruh. So if that's your thang, then play on, playa.

However, I'm extremely open minded, so that's not a bad thing really. Like dirty franks, you get some weird but strangely interesting people eager to strike up a conversation with you. I often wonder where they come from but at the same time, I feel happy that they came.

Like the USA Network, the Characters Are Welcome.

But I'd be lying if I said that the house music isnt straight fire. You'll want to grab the nearest woman/man/hybrid and dance while grasping at the sharpied-up money on the ceiling. Good times.

What Medusa lacks in beautiful young single women, it gains in beautiful young friendly staff. I cant sing enough praises for them -- hands down the most warm, inviting and entertaining bunch I've met in Rittenhouse. They'll treat you well.

When you go though, do the "Kyle Signature Move." Walk up to the bar in the crispiest button up of all time. Then, with a chip on your shoulder, ask for a "Hoe" in your smoothest voice.

If you done it right, you'll get introduced to belgian goodness that Id wager that you're not used to.

Do it wrong and..

Hipster central. Awful techno music with no vocals or any sort of build (and I actually do like electronic dance music normally.) It's quite literally a basement. I guess the graffiti-ed walls and ceiling are kind of cool, but I kept looking around expecting to see a rat. They actually ran out of several of the drinks that were on special, even though it wasn't really packed.

That said, my friends and I had a great time, but it had pretty much nothing to do with what Medusa actually has to offer.

Interesting dive bar. Which I like. I'm rating it based on it being a DIVE BAR! This place is NOT classy so don't come here and then be pissed that you're not at a classy bar. You walk down into the basement to go inside and enter a basement covered in artwork with writing and $1 billions on the ceiling. There are some bar tables with stools, a dj, people dancing crazy on the floor. What's not to like?

The music was iffy. As we entered there was good music but as the hour went on it quickly changed to techno. We disco'ed it up and had a good time.

Oh, the typical college party. You go to your first one when you're a fresh-faced 18 year old and your outlook of a social gathering changes. Cheap beer, shitty houses, and tons of people. You can't get enough of it, pulling weekend trifectas by making it to a party each night without a break. And then later in your college career (and especially when you turn 21), you may become disenchanted by the whole college party scene as new freshman begin piling into the basement floors. Disgusted by their high-school intellect and mannerisms, you fade away from these parties until you eventually stop going.

Buuuuuuttt, if you're still into it or longing to return to one without having to deal with 18 year olds, Medusa is your place. It has all of the facets of a typical frat party after midnights on weekends. It's in a dark basement that's stuffy and dank. The beers you'll be consuming are cheap, in both value and quality. It's also difficult to fight your way through for that beer. The bathrooms always smell and look like as if a poop bomb went off. There's loud music and people sweating all over each other.

Ah, college.. I mean Medusa.