Mr. Holland's magnum opus last night sets up a classic Game Five tonight. "I'd say it's the best-pitched game in the organization's history," Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler told reporters after Game Four. (Though he might want to check that fact with his team owner, Nolan Ryan, who pitched two no-hitters in a Texas uniform. One of them when he was 44 years old.)
Still, what Holland did in going 8 1/3 innings last night—and with barely half a mustache—was give the battered Rangers bullpen a chance to recharge for the remainder of the series. And for those who wanted to see Texas post an NFL score after allowing 16 runs in Game Three, I would argue they followed the ol' Milton Berle longest-penis contest theory—just take out enough to win.
So now it's a best two out of three, but the pressure is still greater on the Rangers tonight—they don't want to go back to St. Louis having to win the final two games.
Rangers ace C.J. Wilson looks to redeem himself after Game One, which made him the only pitcher in baseball history to lose the All-Star Game, the division championship, the league championship and the World Series in the same year. While Chris Carpenter will try to nail down Game Five for the Cardinals.
No matter who comes out on top tonight there will definitely be a Game Six for the first time since 2003, but I'm still sticking with the guy who predicted this World Series would go seven.
Share your thoughts with Michael Solomon via email or Twitter or comment below the line.
First pitch is at 8pm Eastern Time.
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
1. Rafael Furcal, SS
2. Allen Craig, RF
3. Albert Pujols, 1B
4. Matt Holliday, LF
5. Lance Berkman, DH
6. David Freese, 3B
7. Yadier Molina, C
8. Skip Schumaker, CF
9. Nick Punto, 2B
SP Chris Carpenter, RHP
TEXAS RANGERS
1. Ian Kinsler, 2B
2. Elvis Andrus, RF
3. Josh Hamilton, CF
4. Michael Young, DH
5. Adrian Beltre, 3B
6. Nelson Cruz, RF
7. David Murphy, LF
8. Mike Napoli, C
9. Mitch Moreland, 1B
SP C.J. Wilson, LHP
Former Disney star Demi Lovato performs the national anthem tonight in Arlington. I happen to know far too much about her for someone my age, so I'll just play a video of her singing...
.
Dallas Cowboys legend Roger Staubach throws out the first pitch to former Texas Rangers great Kenny Rogers. (He's the Kenny Rogers who hasn't had massive amounts of plastic surgery.)
Say this about Staubach, you know he's got a good arm. Also, based on this 1970s interview, he apparently loves sex.
How 'bout that Cowboy!
Rafael Furcal lasers it down the line, but Beltre shows why he is Gold Glove-worthy. And Allen Craig hits a dribbler to Beltre for the second out.
attabetterpace emails: "Let's see ... Carpenter outduels Halladay, while Wilson is 0-3 with a 7.17 ERA in four postseason starts this year. Hmmm, who should I pick?"
Just remember that Albert Pujols was hitless going into Game 3...and we know what he did. All I'm saying is, Wilson is due.
Pujols flies out deep to center. Boy, after Game 3 it seemed like he would sign with NASA next season. But since then...bupkis.
Cardinals 0 - Rangers 0
Kinsler pops up to first lead off and Andrus hits a slow-roller to Furcal. Two outs.
Carpenter walks Josh Hamilton with two outs. (I know Hamilton is going for that groomed George Michael stubble thing, but to me it just looks like the beard version of Derek Holland's mustache.)
Michael Young fires it down the first base line, but Pujols scoops it up for the third out.
Cardinals 0 - Rangers 0
Matt Holliday walks to lead off the inning and steals second with Lance Berkman at the plate. (I refuse to call a player by a nickname he has chosen for himself, Big Puma,so I may just go with a variation on the one he doesn't like...Fat Bearded Elvis.) After going ahead in the count, 0-2, Wilson walks FBE.
Mr. Freese flies out to right, but Holliday doesn't test Nelson Cruz's arm.
Yadier Molina drives a grounder into left and Murphy drops it (twice) and Holliday scores. Runners on the corners, one out.
Cardinals 1 - Rangers 0
@dishwithdi tweets: Carpenter's going to pitch a win tonight!
So for those who don't want to watch the whole game, the dishwithdi has been cast. (After one inning though, he does look solid.)
Skip Schumaker steps up to the plate—meaning Jon Jay is on the bench tonight (which should crack up Supreme Court aficionados. Both of you.)
Schumaker drills it down the line but Moreland drops it. He steps on the bag for the second out, but Berkman scores.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 0
With a man on second and two outs, Nick Punto flies it into left but Murphy redeems himself with a great diving catch. Inning over.
C.J. Wilson could not look shakier. And it's still early.
@donnellyconor tweets: "With every walk we can knock off 5 mill from Wilson's price tag this offseasson. The Anti Clif Lee"
I don't handle compensation issues. You'll have to take that up with the folks at Occupy Dallas.
After throwing a baffling curve, Carpenter gets Beltre to ground out to short. Nelson Cruz sends one deep to center but Schumaker tracks it down. And David Murphy hits one back to Carpenter for the third out.
Unlike Wilson, Carpenter looks to be at the top of his game so far.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 0
Furcal lays down a nice bunt, but C.J. Wilson stumbles getting to it. He throws a Brett Favre-esque shovel pass to first and it gets by Moreland. Furcal goes to second on the throwing error. (Happy Birthday, Rafael. That was your present.)
Then Allen Craig bunts it back to Wilson and he handles it easily. Furcal moves over to third. With one out, Wilson intentionally walks Pujols. With Holliday up, the Fox announcers interview last night's star, Derek Holland, who does a Harry Caray impression worthy of Will Ferrell.)
Then Holliday hits into an inning-ending double play, which inspires Derek Holland to do a very passable Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. (Just keep him away from the housekeeper in the hotel tonight.)
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 0
After striking out Napoli to start the inning, Carpenter gives up a moon launch to Moreland. That ball will be tracked tonight by NORAD.
Now the crowd at Arlington is into it.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
Elvis Andrus bunts it perfectly and is on at first. Then Hamilton singles to left. But Young grounds out to end the inning.
Still, the lead is cut in half. The question is, can Wilson settle down and hold it?
Paddy O Doors (probably not his real name) tweets: "hopefully wilson can settle down and they can cut down the errors so we can have a close game"
See, I told you that was the question.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
Fat Bearded Elvis leads off the inning and Wilson strikes him out, looking. (That's all right, mama.)
Mr. Freese lines out to Cruz for the second out.
Molina pops it up to right and, say hey, Kinsler makes a nice basket catch for the third out.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
Meanwhile...below the line dadric writes: "can we all agree that Derek Holland is not an attractive man?"
And DuckySledgewick seconds the motion: "unless his mother is reading I doubt you'll get an argument here"
All I'll say is this...I've seen a better mustache on Frida Kahlo.
Beltre hits a grounder deep to short, but Furcal rifles it to first. One out.
Carpenter gets Cruz to go down swinging. His curve really looks sharp—or, I suppose, round—tonight.
Murphy grounds out to end the inning.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
Dtown below the line says: "Can we replace the commentators with Derek Holland?"
I want to hear a third impression before I commit to that. Can he do Seinfeld? Cher?
Schumaker leads off the inning with a single. Punto walks. Two on, no outs, and the Rangers bullpen is now active. (According to Ken Rosenthal, the dugout reporter, Tony La Russa claimed that Jon Jay was "pulling out his hair today" and that's why he didn't get the start. Any Tony knows from a bad hair day.)
Furcal lays down another terrific bunt, Beltre chases it down and tries to throw to third—but no one is covering. He fires it to first. Second and third, one out, and Allen Craig steps up to the plate. (Is it me, or does he have a name that's better suited to a soap opera? "Don't lie to me! I know Allen Craig is really the father of our Siamese twins!") Craig strikes out and Wilson intentionally walks Pujols to load the bases...
Bases loaded, two outs, as Holliday comes to the plate. With two strikes on Holliday, Nolan Ryan clasps his hands in prayer and gets a comforting rub on his back.
The prayers pay off—Holliday grounds out to end the inning. And Wilson gets out of a jam. Perhaps this is the confidence boost he needs.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
Napoli flies out to center and Moreland grounds out to second. Two outs. Kinsler hits a dribbler near the mound but Carpenter can't handle it. Kinsler make it to first on the error. Can the Rangers capitalize on the moment?
No.
Andrus flies out to center. Inning over.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
Below the line, maxinquaye7 questions my Derek Holland mustache comparison: "Frida Kahlo? i was thinking more along the lines of....
http://picalogs.com/data_images/pedro-napoleon-dynamite.jpg"
So what does everyone think? Kahlo or a vote for Pedro? Share your thoughts via email or Twitter or comment below the line.
Fat Bearded Elvis goes down swinging to lead off the inning. (He's down at the end of Lonely Street now.) Mr. Freese drives one to left—and that it's for C.J. Wilson. Scott Feldman trots in from the bullpen.
Molina greets Feldman with a single—two on, one out. Schumaker grounds out to first but the runners advance. Second and third, two out. And Punto...goes down swinging.
Huge out. Feldman comes up big in a pressure situation. That could have been ugly for the Rangers.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 1
With two outs, Adrian puts the "belt" in Beltre and ties the game with a home run hit from his knee.
That's power.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 2
After that Beltre blast, Nelson Cruz singles and that brings Murphy to the plate. He singles up the middle and now it's first and third with two outs. Napoli launches it deep to center but it's caught on the track. Inning over.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 2
Adrian Beltre can knock it out of the park from this position. What can you do on one knee? Photograph: Mike Segar/Reuters
I'm still in awe that Beltre could hit a home run while down on one knee. The most impressive thing I've ever done from that position is propose to someone. And that didn't work out nearly as well. Either time.
Alexi Ogando is now pitching for Texas and gets Furcal. Now his old nemesis Allen Craig is up. Ogando shows him some respect and walks him. But then Craig tries to steal second (for some reason) and he is out by three strides. (Did his GPS fail to point out where the bag was?) Why on earth would he run in front of Pujols? It only forces Ogando to intentionally walk him with two outs. That brings Holliday to the plate with two out and Pujols at first. With Pujols running, Holliday drives it to center. Hamilton fires it home as Pujols makes the turn at third, but Pujols holds up. But the throw home helps Holliday go to second. It's now second and third, two out, and now Ogando walks Berkman.
It's now up to Mr. Freese with the bases loaded. And he flies out to center. Another narrow escape for the Rangers.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 2
Time to stretch.
I have already made the case that "God Bless America" is a far superior song than "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" so tonight I'm confident enough to show a classic version of the inferior song. But only because it's performed by Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly.
But seriously, folks, the lyric is "Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack" not "Cracker Jacks"—it has to rhyme with the word "back." Can we at least agree on that?
Carpenter is still on the hill as the inning starts and he gets Moreland to fly out to center. Then he walks Kinsler and strikes out Andrus. And Hamilton flies out to end the inning.
The game is tied as we head into the eighth. It's squeaky bum time now.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 2
Molinda hits it deep to short and Elvis Andrus makes the stab and tries to make an Air Jeter throw to first—but it's in the dirt and Moreland can't come up with it. With Molina on first, Ron Washington makes a call to the bullpen...
Darren Oliver is now pitching for the Rangers and Theriot bunts Molina over. One out. Then Punto goes down looking. Furcal hits one deep in the hole, Andrus scoops it up and fires it to Moreland, who does a Black Swan-worthy split to make the play. Inning over.
And ow.
Cardinals 2 - Rangers 2
Octavio Dotel has checked in to the game, replacing Carpenter on the mound. Also, Jon Jay is no longer on the bench (that Supreme Court joke will never get old for me) and playing center.
Michael Young tests Jay right away, hitting a lead-off double. That brings Beltre to the plate and the man who can hit it out on one knee goes down swinging on both feet. One out as Cruz steps in. But Dotel intentionally walks him. (And almost throws a wild pitch as he lobs one in.)
And with that, Tony La Russa goes to the bullpen for Marc Rzepczynski...and I go to the spell check just to be sure.
With two on and one out, Rzepczynski faces Murphy, who hits a slow roller that Rzepczynski can't handle. Punto tries to barehand over to first, but Murphy's safe and the bases loaded for Nap-O-li.
And he sends it deeeeeep to right, scoring two.
Rangers 4 - Cardinals 2
With second and third (where Gentry is now running) and one out, Moreland steps in. And strikes out.
And with that La Russa goes to the bullpen...
Meanwhile...that two-run shot by Napoli finally got Ron Washington doing his trademark dance—"The Wash." Every time Fox shows it, I can't help thinking that it looked so much sexier when Jennifer Beals did it in Flashdance.
But that's me.
With men on second and third and two out, Rzepczynski is out and Lance Lynn is now pitching to Kinsler. And he intentionally walks him.
In other words, Tony La Russa brought in a relief pitcher just for an intentional walkto buy a little more time for Jason Motte in the bullpen. Wow, that's a chess move worthy of Garry Kasparov.
With bases loaded and two out, the first batter Motte faces is Elvis Andrus. And La Russa's chess moves keep the game in check. Elvis goes down swinging. Inning over. Rangers 4 - Cardinals 2
And we head to the ninth...
Neftali Feliz is now pitching for the Rangers and he faces Allen Craig, who is still being second-guessed for that attempted steal. And Feliz hits Craig, bringing the tying run to the plate in Albert Pujols...
Rangers 4 - Cardinals 2
With one on an no outs, the count on Pujols goes from 0-2 to 3-2. With Craig running, Pujols strikes out. And for the second time this game, Allen Craig is thrown out at second.
Huge double play.
Rangers 4 - Cardinals 2
Nolan Ryan takes a well-deserved deep breath after that strike-him-out-throw-him-out. And with two gone in the top of the ninth, Matt Holliday comes up to bat. And just to give Ryan more heartburn, Feliz walks him. Now Lance Berkman steps in...
Rangers 4 - Cardinals 2
With Holliday on first and two outs, Fat Bearded Elvis digs in. The count is 0-2 and Berkman is clearly trying to tie this game with one swing. But it's a dropped third strike...and he is thrown out at first with an underhand toss from Napoli, who runs halfway down the line.
And Game 5 ends with a whimper. And a great sigh of relief from Nolan Ryan.
Final score: Rangers 4 - Cardinals 2
Now that was a World Series game. And while it was clearly a team win for the Rangers, you have to give it to Nap-O-li who came up with the game-winning hit and the game-saving strike-him-out-throw-him-out.
Just a huge win for the Rangers, who now head to St. Louis one game away from their first World Series championship.
Meanwhile, Tony La Russa will no doubt be second- and third-guessed for some of his calls tonight—especially the decision to hit-and-run with Craig and Pujols—but that's why they pay him the big bucks.
@LengelDavid still believes in Tony though, tweeting: "Now La Russa goes home and shows us all how great he is. Don't you see, we're playing right into his hands, again-A TRAP!...Dont be fooled, this is a set up. Texas cant win. He does this shit for fun. Bet it all on the Cards. It's over, this is a show...You'll see. The joke is on us. #LaRussa is controlling our brains. There is nothing we can do to defeat him. Abandon ship."
Don't worry about David—the men with the white coats and the giant butterfly nets will be along soon to claim him.
And we'll be back for Game 6 from St. Louis on Wednesday night where Colby Lewis and Jaime Garcia are the probable pitchers.
Can the Cardinals force a Game 7?
