life matters

Hello meat-loving friends. Before you judge me and associate with me all sorts of adjectives that you have created in your stereotyping of that ‘v’ word, I unashamedly declare that I love meat. I don’t personally have an issue with the eating of it. And so, in writing this, I hope to help my friends understand that whether we opt-in or opt-out, our lifestyles and everyday decisions carry individual convictions, and before we bring our own opinions to the table, that loaded word ‘tolerance’ finds its root in our openness to listen thoughtfully and with integrity to the other person’s story. I hope you will do me this kindness.

I love (and am extremely humbled by the fact) that God made the world for us. It’s beautiful and breath-taking to look at. It smells wonderful. The textures of the leaves, the grass, the water. And the taste! Before the Fall, when God’s created image-bearers, human beings, chose to rebel against His design and live their own way, God “caused to grow out of the ground every tree pleasing in appearance and good for food” (uh huh, we were originally vegetarians; Genesis 2:9) and He placed humanity in the centre of all this to enjoy in His presence. But when we chose to not live in His presence, under His rule, death entered the world and God, in His kindness, took animal skins to clothe Adam and Eve (when they knew their nakedness) (Genesis 3:21). And later, He says that “the fear and terror of you will be in every living creature on the earth, every bird of the sky, every creature that crawls on the ground, and all the fish of the sea. They are placed under your authority. Every living creature will be food for you; as I gave the green plants, I have given you everything. However, you must not eat meat with its lifeblood in it. I will require the life of every animal and every man for your life and your blood. I will require the life of each man’s brother for a man’s life.” (Genesis 9:2-5). Where am I going with this? Well, as you can see, God really, really values us! We have a special importance in His sight. And He allows us to eat meat. We have a special authority over animals that no creature has over us. But something new comes into the mix after the Fall: death and the animals’ fear of man. All we know at the beginning was that God made us in His image, and that meant, in part, that we would rule over the animals (Genesis 1:26). However, I think this fear is new. It brings with it death. This doesn’t detract from the fact that we are still made to rule over them, as God would (because by our essence we are bearing His image and are to be image bearers of Him). I think what this implies is we are to care for the world as God Himself would – our environment, the animals – with authority comes responsibility, and with responsibility, an exercise of God’s character. And this is the part that I struggle with…

I think I used to over-exert my freedom to eat meat. Then a few years ago a friend of mine who I admired and respected as a Christian decided to become a vegetarian. I was confused and wanted to understand. He pointed me to the fact that his individual choice came out of a growing awareness, then understanding, and then conviction that our current meat industry is exploiting our environment. He had read the UN’s paper “Livestock’s Long Shadow”, which took a serious look at the impact of feed crop production required to maintain meat production (which is ever-increasing because of humanity’s increasing and excessive ‘thirst’ for meat). From local to global, meat production as an industry contributes alarming amounts of degradation to our environment. (You can read the report online.) That really challenged me. I had not thought about my image-bearing nature in this way – yes, I have freedom to eat meat, but I also have freedom (and responsibility) to live in a way that is as God designed me to live: responsibly doing my part to rule over His world as He would. I decided to become a vegetarian out of personal conviction of not wanting to be an ignorant steward of His world in this way. However, over a year, it became difficult with really low iron levels (and my lack of intentionality to make sure I consumed enough through other means). Also, I didn’t have as much freedom back then living without any income to determine my own menu. And so, I slowly opted back into meat-eating.

Recently, watching the critically-acclaimed film Okja, I was again stirred with a different confronting message. It is one thing that our current meat industry exploits and degrades our environment more than, arguably, any other single factor. But also, it is another thing too that, in our meat-obsessed cultures, we have completely turned a blind eye to our ethical responsibility to animals. Though the film is fantastical in nature, it raises some important questions about how much we justify our enjoyment of meat by this wilful ignorance. We choose to forget that animals have, as Sean McCorry puts it, “an ethically significant interest in [their] own well-being.” They feel happiness, love, kindness, sorrow, pain, fear (as Genesis tells us). In our effort to meet excessive demands for meat, we are constantly trying to ‘perfect’ efficiency and maximise productivity. Killing animals for their meat has become a human-dignity-stripping exercise. Ask anyone who has worked in an abattoir. They will tell you it is no lucky coincidence that they are highly paid (or have to work in an industry that struggles to hold onto employees to extend their working holiday visa). You’re lucky if you find someone who’s worked longer than a few months. (If you do, you will soon notice there is something not quite right about them.) I don’t think we were made to kill animals in the way we do today. Okja brings to us something of this. In fact, the director, Bong Joon-ho, in the process of his research for the film, chose to become a vegan. In the name of efficiency, we have lost our human dignity in the cruel and quite horrific methods being used to quicken animal production. Would you personally force an animal to breed with (or, more accurately, be raped by) another on a regular basis? Would you squeeze animals (who had previously never been exposed to metal containers or small confined spaces) into no-light, no-moving space shipping containers with no fresh water or space to excrete so you can maximise and make cheap live export to another country? (How do you think the Japanese get their Wagyu ‘so fresh’?)

And so, I end with this. I feel anguished and disgusted when I read the articles, see the images, and watch the videos that Bong Joon-ho would have seen in his research, and weigh up the evidence. I feel not human. I feel stripped of my image-bearing nature. God allows us to eat meat in our fallen state, but we have taken this freedom and abused it greatly. And so, personally, I have decided to opt-out. To my meat-loving friends, I am not writing to force you to do the same. However, I ask that you seek to ‘listen’ to my decision and try to understand where I am coming from. And in so doing, I hope you would consider your own conscience and response with sober judgment.* I also hope that you would be encouraged to not judge someone by their labels, whether self-professed or given them, by your own perceptions. May we exercise our image-bearing freedoms with the dignity and privilege afforded to us, to the other person, and to the well-being of all of God’s creation.

*Perhaps you’re not so ready to opt out. May I encourage you to consider some alternatives? For example, purchase RSPCA-approved chicken, turkey, pork, eggs. If you check out rspcaapproved.org.au, you will find the companies/products that meet their standards for ethical treatment of animals. Consider eating less meat in general. Health experts say that we only really need one-two servings of meat a week. Instead, we, on average, consume that once a day! Sure, your individual footprint isn’t going to do much to the local or global scene, but by choosing to reduce, you are choosing not participating in the excessive meat eating driven society we live in.

Also, consider how you can make a difference by speaking out against unethical animal practices such as the live export of Australian cattle: https://www.rspca.org.au/live-export

As a suggestion, if you’re not sure how to go about your weekly/fortnightly/monthly meet up, here are some questions to get you into the swing of things:

– What things did you find interesting or new? Take turns to say one and share your opinions on each other’s answers.

– What things did you find inspiring, challenging or difficult? Is this something that perhaps reveals a particular view of yours or a command to obey or an example to follow? Try to listen and not make judgments upon the other person at this point.

– If you could ask the author why they chose to write the way they did on the subject at hand in this chapter, or wished they could talk more about something in this chapter, what would you say? Here, you want to try and understand perhaps what the person’s expectations were before reading this chapter and what their expectations are after reading it. You could even try and respond to each other’s answers. (Maybe you could phrase the question better!)

– In light of our discussion, what has changed in your thinking already and/or what will change in your behaviour? Here, it could be helpful to probe one now there for specifics, and then end with praying for those specifics.

Today at lunch I was having conversations with someone who had just finished a book with lots of thought-provoking things. I asked her how she’s seen these things impact the way she lives and I was encouraged to hear her changed views on various issues. However, how great it would have been to read the book, chapter at a time, at the same time, so that we could get together to talk about it. Not only would it grow our relationship and our understanding of one another’s way of thinking and responding to the same things, but also help us to help each other respond moe purposefully/intentionally.

People who know me would not be surprised that I read three-five books at the same time (partly because I get bored easily and need variety to keep me interested, but also I just want to do too much at once!) but in fact most of those books are read with another person. I’m going to try to convince you to do the same (not necessarily to read three-five books at the same time, but to read however many books you would like to read with someone else).

Note: The reasons below are formed by my desire as a Christian to encourage others and be encouraged to grow to be the person God calls me to be when I follow Jesus. You might or might not agree with all these particular reasons, but I hope some prove convincing for you!

1. The Christian is not a loner. There are many passages in the Bible that present this truth, but, focusing on Hebrews 10:24-25, what is fundamental to the Christian life is meeting together often and, arguably, increasingly, till the day of Christ’s return. And what does the writer say is the purpose of this? To spur one another on towards love and good deeds. The spur is a device that sits at the heel of a boot used to jolt the horse to action. You can’t spur yourself! You need another to do that! In the same way,  if we’re reading a non-fiction Christian book, chances are we’re reading it expecting it to change us in some way. If so, there is no better way that to have someone who understands the ideas you are confronted with (because they’re reading it and trying to understand them too) and asks you the question: so how you will actually seek to change as a result of this changed thinking? Sure, we can ask ourselves the same question and probably answer it sufficiently enough. However, notice the end purpose of the spurring: love and good deeds. In the minds and hearts of mortal creatures, we love to puff ourselves up with knowledge and feel good about thinking abstract ‘good’ thoughts about how we will change. Even the most practical of us struggle to come up with thoughtful ways that are outward looking applications of challenging thoughts. There’s nothing like someone else forcing you to think beyond yourself and from another’s point of view, and keeping you accountable to actions of change that you verbalise.

2. Improve on the art of discussion and disagreeing well. Let’s face it, this is not something anyone is born with. It’s not a gift. It’s something you develop as you learn, from a posture of humility, to listen to understand what another is saying, both explicitly and implicitly. And what better way than to do it through discussing subject matters that you’ve both had to think about from the same source!

3. Grow in oneness. If you are a Christian, then (hopefully) you care very much for the vision that Paul describes for the church in Ephesians 4: to grow up into one man. He sees that every Christian is different but our goal is to “build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son”. Through our diverse personalities, gifts, experiences, interests, passions, skills, we are to seek unity in the faith and in knowledge of Jesus. There are many ways to strive towards this, and one is the clashing of minds, as we wrestle together the same ideas and seek to help each other grow in likeness towards Christ. To read a book on our own deprives us of this process.

4. Help each other in our discipleship (following of Jesus in His call and mission). In Christian circles, we use the word ‘discipleship’ in, I think, unhelpful ways. What we often mean by it is ‘coaching’ or ‘mentoring’ and I think they have some aspect of discipleship in them, but I don’t think they encapsulate the concept.  Anyway, starting to digress! My point is I have found that reading a book with someone is an excellent way to help each other (mutually) in our discipleship of Jesus. No matter if they’re younger or older, have been a Christian longer than me or shorter, we can each learn and share together and challenge one another to greater obedience to Christ each chapter.

5. Learn to love by making time to do so. C S Lewis is a profound thinker and has said many a profound sentence! One that has shaped how I relate to people: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness, but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” That was more than one sentence, but what is clear is that we cannot learn to love on our own. It needs another imperfect human being. If you love reading, you probably would love to just curl up with a book on your own. If you hate reading, but see some benefit to getting into a good book, you probably would struggle to read at the pace of another. But, for both, a sacrifice is made, and so love initiated, when you decide to ask another to read a book with you. And thus begins the beautiful process of growing in learning to be vulnerable as you discuss comfortable and uncomfortable things as they arise.

At present, three of the five (though, now technically six!) books I’m reading are with others of different backgrounds, ages. I’m praying and looking forward to the above happening. I hope and pray that you, having read this, would take steps towards asking someone/s to read a book with you. Pick a person you want to get to know in some way. Ask them if they’d like to read a book together. Pick a book. Pick a regularly time to meet to talk about each chapter after you’ve read it (you set the pace together – maybe a chapter a week, maybe a chapter a month). Off you go!

A friend of mine recently encouraged me to write down what you are about to read. There are a lot of helpful things online written by people with depression and those who support them that give a glimpse into what daily life is like, to aid understanding and generate helpful ways of loving and caring for those who do have depression. I find these helpful to read too! However, this is not what this post is about. As Paul writes to the Romans, “…we rejoice in hope of the glory of God…we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” I have never felt the weight and truth of these words more than I have since my journeying through life with depression. The problem with a lot of the world’s help with depression and other mental health issues today is that they are focused on the self. I’m not saying they are unhelpful, but they draw their thinking on the premise that understanding ourselves and dealing with our negative thinking is at the crux of dealing with depression. However, I have come to see that, at the end of the day, God allows us to experience what we experience not so that we get past struggle, but that in our struggle He is magnified and glorified, that is, we see Him more clearly for who He is, regard ourselves more humbly, love Him more deeply, hope in Him more desperately, love others more genuinely…so that we might rejoice in our sufferings that ultimately our joy may be found in hope of God’s glory being revealed. What follows, then, are some reflections on how God has taught me to rejoice in my sufferings.

1. Depression forces me to see my ugliness as a sinful creature, and this magnifies the grace of God more than it ever did.

This is where all that PC crap is so unhelpful. People will say that how you see yourself when you are depressed is distorted, that one mustn’t think so harshly, that it’s just your mind messing with you, you really are not a bad person. Well, guess what. I feel disgusting, pathetic, weak, useless and worst of all, absolutely powerless and helpless to change. Cognitive-behavioural therapy tells me that I am the sum of my thoughts and I cannot allow them to overcome me because I am not these things. However, my Creator God doesn’t see it that way. He knows absolutely and uncompromisingly how rotten I am. “None is righteous, no, not even one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless, no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grace; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.” (Romans 3:10b-18) Does that blow your politically-correct ego hat off? Well, good. Christians who ought to know how sinful they are before their Creator and Judge often forget they are sinful. They judge others harshly, justify their attitudes and actions quickly, and worse, with the thought that they are somehow biblical or honouring to God, and prioritise their lives under the banner of ‘wise stewardship’. I think I am this Christian. “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.” (Isaiah 64:6) Journeying through depression has made me see my sinfulness before God more clearly and humbly than I ever have. Even then, have you ever considered that of 1000 different things that we do that offend God (or don’t do that offend Him), we only see maybe 10 of those? When you read the prayers of the Puritans, they always spent so much of their words acknowledging (very descriptively!) their ugliness before God. How often do we pray for God to help us see ourselves as He sees us more clearly? But what is so wonderful about our God is that He is not powerless or helpless, but more so, He is good. He is so good because He is a prodigal God, lavishing His kindness, oh so undeserved, on us. “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly…God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us…while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” (Romans 5:6, 8, 10) While we were weak, while we were sinners, while we were enemies. God secures our reconciliation now and salvation in the time to come when He will return to judge the world.

Though hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victors soul, that to have nothing is to possess al, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.

It is when we are in the valley that we see the glory of God in His grace and rejoice. I have never known the kind of joy I have that echoes this paradox.

2. Depression, in a paradoxical way, makes me judge others more, as I perhaps see my own failings in others, but this forces me to love more genuinely.

Depression makes you very cynical. Things I had never given much thought to before concerning others now bug me more than ever. It might be the way someone selfishly avoids doing something, or maybe someone fixating on something to the detriment of other things…anyway, I needn’t be too specific or I might start ruminating! The point is, depression makes you an angry person. In turn, avoidance of people takes over, and with that, guilt. However, the supernatural Spirit of God also does. Guilt has its place in the Christian life. It humbles and helps us face the reality of our nature. Seeing how awfully judgmental and petty I am has humbled my opinion of my ability to love others. It has also helped me to discern when my seeking to love another is genuine, pursuing with candour and consistency, the good of another, or purely just niceness. Yes, I might now judge people when they are just being nice rather than loving toward me, but the constant reminder of my sinfulness judges me in turn. This journey so far has revealed what real friendship looks like. “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). I have realised how difficult it is for those who call themselves my friends. I might be down and boring, or angry and extremely negative, but they keep persevering with earnestness in messaging and asking how I’m feeling, in sharing words that comfort and challenge, in making time to spend with me, but also always sharing what’s going on in their lives without reservation, not treating me as though I’m a patient; there is always candour and consistency. These people are tangible reminders of God’s grace and love, but also examples for me in loving others well. If not for my first hand experience being a recipient of such love, I would not know how to judge the genuineness of my love to others. There have been so many times when I’ve just wanted to throw a tantrum at someone but instead God has reminded me of the grace given me in light of my sin, and that grace has controlled and compelled me to offer it to the very person I just want to scream at. Depression has taught me to thank God for my good friends but also humbled me and inspired me to offer the example of love they offer me freely and generously.

And here, dear reader, I shall end Part 1. Please note that none of what I say above is representative of the experience of those with depression. It is my personal reflection and I hope and pray it brings you some encouragement that it’s not all bad. It’s hard, but it’s not bad. “…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose…to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” (Romans 8:28, 29)

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” (Romans 5:6, ESV)

On New Year’s Eve I found myself sitting in the hot Sydney sun with a massive crowd of people, waiting. We were waiting for the eventual fireworks to come! There were still many hours to go. Waiting is always difficult. It got me thinking about the way God waits.

Have you ever wondered why God chose to come in human form at that particular point in history – first century Palestine? Why not modern day Australia? Why not Dark Ages Europe? Well, I don’t have the answer (sorry!) but something can be said about the nature of the waiting God did. We’re told in Psalm 90:4 that “A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by” (NIV). So time flies for God? Hmmm, not really, I think. 2 Peter 3:8 says “with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (ESV). In other words, God is outside of time and experiences it differently from us. If you’ve seen Interstellar, this might make some sense!

However, this doesn’t mean the pain of waiting, or the reality of suffering, isn’t experienced by God. God experiences real suffering concerning His world! From the beginning of time, God grieved at the state of His world (“The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.” (Genesis 6:5-6, ESV)). At the cross He experienced a devastating separation within Himself as the Father’s face was turned away from His Son. In between this time, God had to watch His people choose to worship idols made by human hands, give themselves over to idol prostitution and sacrifice, greed tear families apart, neighbour lying to neighbour, humanity choosing to live life as they saw fit and best. Our momentary pleasure-seeking is in fact grievous to a God who made us for more.

So my thought: thousands and thousands of years had to pass before God put His Son in the world. Christian, do you trust God’s timing for all things? If so, do you trust Him with waiting in your own life? We are told that it was “at the right time” that Christ came into the world to die for the ungodly, to mark God’s guarantee to rid the world of evil, a guarantee that will ultimately be fulfilled when He returns. First-century Palestine was no day spa. It was a politically tumultuous, socially unjust, and financially corrupt time. Life was difficult. Jesus’ waiting for 33 years was a time of being misunderstood by the very people who supposedly knew God, rejected by His own hometown, even considered mad by His own earthly family. And yet He knew God’s timing for all things was right and His own deathly mission was God’s plan for His creation’s redemption. He trusted God with waiting in His own life. He knows and can empathise with us, in both our small and big trials of life.

My atheist friends, if Jesus really did exist, as our historians tell us, and He did in fact claim to be God, would it not be grossly ignorant of us to assume that if there were a god, He doesn’t care about humanity’s plight? For in Jesus, we find God’s deep concern for the world and His very personal action come together.

Dr Grant Bickerton, a psychologist who has recently done a PhD on burnout and people in cross-cultural missions, found that the number one determiner of lasting the distance on the m field is your experience of God, where you:

i) have a positive view (“model”) of self and a positive view of God (“Other”), i.e., “I am a child of a God, loved by Him, and, whatever happens, He is allowing it/doing it with good intentions” (see Table below),

ii) relate in an intimately collaborative way with God, i.e., not “You are the one who acts and I’m going to do nothing” (avoidance) or “I am in this situation now and I have to figure out a way to get out” (self-directed control) but “I am in this situation, You are in control – Lord I ask for peace as I follow you, as I step forward in faith” (collaboration), and

iii) have a continually confirming and strong perceived sense of ‘call’ to the work.

He calls these three things ‘spiritual resources’. (Apt, I think!) His research suggests that when these three particular things hold true they are linked to resiliency and the ability to effectively influence and impact one’s environment. Isn’t this what the cross-cultural worker desires? If so, should we not be pursuing them with enthusiasm and as first priority?

I was challenged to ask myself: How can I adjust the way I relate to God so that I am continually growing in intimacy with Him? How can I continue to grow in paying attention to God’s communication with me and in responding to this personally communicating God, and so live out the consequences with peace and assurance? Bickerton very helpfully pointed out that “you can adjust the way you relate to God/experience Him by living out what you want to see changed”. I need to grow in my spiritual disciplines and to pursue what I want to see changed in my journey towards holiness.

Does either of the two dimensions of anxiety about abandonment or avoidance of intimacy resonate with you? Where would you position yourself on the table above? Remember: you can adjust it by living out what you want to see changed!

Table: Nature of attachment to God (based on Attachment Theory)