Cbalesh's Blog

It is never easy to say goodbye to people who are involved in our lives. I find it hard to say bye when I am visiting my family back in Lebanon. I go every so often but usually stay for a month, which isn’t enough time to catch up with everyone. So for the time that I am there I reconnect with all my family and friends in a strong way. The bonds we form are as if we have been living close to each other forever. We have fun staying up all night, going out to places, and just enjoying the company of one another. Then the clock hits and it is time to leave back to California. It is a very bittersweet moment because in one hand you don’t want to leave your cousins, and on the other hand you kind of miss home. Why is it that saying goodbye is so hard?!

In my opinion saying goodbye is difficult because there is always a possibility that you may never see that person again. That fear that it may be the last time is difficult to accept. I know it might sound dramatic but when you are visiting family far away and you go ever couple of years it is hard to go again. Another reason is because we tend to miss the feelings and happiness that we have had with them. The emotional bonds we create are hard to forget, and the boy band “Boys 2 Men” totally agree with their song. The words describe it all:

          How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don’t know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we’ve been
And what we’ve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it’s worth all the wait
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I’ll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Now do you find it hard to say goodbye?

Once a upon a time there was a young girl names Cinderella that had always wished and dreamt that she can change her unhappy life. She would always dream that one day she would get to move away from her two evil step-sisters and her step-moms, who turned her into a maid. Now Cinderella was the sweetest and nicest girl one could ever meet. So why shouldn’t she have the best life ever and have all her dreams come true. Well one day Cinderella met Prince Charming who as you all now proposed to her, married her, and lived happily ever after. In all Cinderella’s dreams and wishes came true. She finally became the princess that she has always wanted to be with the help of her fairy Godmother.Take a look…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5eCqfAZEow&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EHebyjn_NA&feature=related

Okay so I know you all are wondering why I decided to talk about Cinderella. Well I talked about this Disney character because she represents dreams can come true. I know not all dreams can come true, but if you really do believe in something it may come true. Now the reason I believe in dreams is because you set your mind to your goals and become motivated. When Cinderella had her dream to escape from her evil “family” and when she saw her fairy godmother helping her out she was able to accomplish her goals. If feel like I do that when I really want to accomplish something. It first comes a desire, then a dream, then a goal, then you have a motivational operation for that dream/goal, and then you can finally accomplish it! Dreams are a fun and nice way to accomplish your biggest wish.

Now we have all done something in our lives that has helped another individual. For instance, you help the elderly lady take her bags to her car, you help your little neighbor with his homework, you volunteer at the hospital, or even help the children at your local schools. Speaking from experience I really like to help people out to the best of my abilities and I do enjoy it at times. That is why I think sometimes am I really helping from the goodness of my heart or do I help because it makes me feel like a better person. Now every time I think about helping from my heart I think about one FRIENDS episode. I searched for a good while for the clip and finally found it…yay!

In this episode Joey and Phoebe talk about good deeds and Joey insists that every good deed is a selfish deed because it makes the person feel good. Phoebe and her stubborn ways believes that good deeds are in fact unselfish. This episode is talking about altruism and that Joey believes altruism cannot exist. I sometimes wonder that when I am helping others just to help and at times I think I do it because it makes me feel like a worthy person but for the most part I don’t get that feeling until after I have helped the person out. It is wierd to think that altruism is not possible but if you think about once you have finished helping a person you probably say something like this: ” it was nice to help that elderly women today because it felt like it was the right thing to do.” I don’t know if I am right or wrong but I really have no stand on this topic because I am even lost about whether it is selfless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dna8VzQoUg

I have always wondered what makes a person happy? Is it the clothes they wear, the food they eat, the places they see, the information they study, alcoholic beverages, or just being able to do what one wants to do? Then I realized anything can make a person happy because it does not have to be a specific thing or activity. Okay so then I thought why are some people not happy when they have everything at their reach? This can be explained in many different viewpoints but I think I would like you to hear it from my own thoughts. When a person is unhappy I do think it is because they block the opportunity to become happy. Don’t get me wrong I know there are cases of depression and other mental disorders that interfere with the person’s well-being, but I am talking about a person who is not mentally ill.

                Speaking from experience there have been many days when I just didn’t want to really associate with anyone but for no particular reason. When I had a couple of these instances I would be unhappy just out of nowhere, but I really don’t know why. I just wonder where does this sudden mood change come from? For example, just the other day my sister was telling me to stop using her camera for whatever reason she had. I was in a great and happy state of mind but at the end I just got annoyed at gave her back her camera with some exchange of words. That incident was really not worth the one or two hours that I was unhappy. Then I thought to myself why couldn’t I have just gave her back her camera and used my camera on the cell phone. I don’t know why we lead ourselves to get angry and unhappy because at the end you are ruining your time of enjoyment…. I am trying to not get the little things annoy me anymore, and hope it works!!

I have been having flashbacks about a big accident I had a couple of months ago. I am reliving every moment that I can remember. I see the back of my car getting hit on the passenger’s side, I see the front window shattering, I see the glass flying throughout the car, I see my knee having hitting the dashboard which brought instant tears, I see myself being confused to what had just occurred, and I see myself calling my mom in tears and fear of the accident that just happened. For days I could not sleep because of the fear of what could have happened. For weeks that followed the accident I was scared of driving and had my mom or sister drive me around. It might sound childish but I had never experienced an accident before. To have gone from never experiencing an accident to having a big accident is quite frightening! I had always loved to drive but because I was still nervous about the accident I stayed away from it for a couple of days or until my mom had stopped driving me around so I can face the road again. I am glad she did that!

Many people wondered why I couldn’t sleep, focus, or eat right for that first week. The reason was because I had a lot of anxiety after that accident. According to emedicinehealth.com, anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, apprehension, fear, or worry. I was worried about the car I had lost and how I was going to get another one. I feared that there was some internal damage that the doctors could not find, and I was nervous about driving again. My anxiety lasted for a good week because it was all new, but I can honestly say that my anxious feelings went away when I faced my fears of driving again. I remember having really bad stomach aches because of the stress and it turned out that stomach pains can result because of anxiety. I am glad I have been able to get over it but I always am very, very cautious now when I drive. One never knows when they will be hit from behind (literally)!!

Anger is an emotion that many of us have experienced in our lives. It can be mild anger that is over a little issue or it can get out of  hand and ruin a person’s life. According to the APA anger is defined “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.” Anger varies from low to high amounts of irritation, but what defines irritation?  Well irritation has been defined as to rouse a person, annoy the person, or to make the person become inpatient (Merriam-Webster dictionary). When a person is consistently getting annoyed by another that can make the person become inpatient and have a mild form of anger. Although anger can be caused by other people it can also be caused by internal factors. Internal factors can consist of brooding or worrying about personal problems, and having memories of traumatic events that can trigger angry feelings (apa.org). I really think this where people begin to displace their angry feelings onto innocent people. For example, I can be worrying about a test that’s coming up and because I am so nervous I can project my angry and nervous feelings on my sister. Now I have probably started an argument over something she has nothing to do with just because I am angry. Wierd how being angry ruins your relationship with the others around you.

Now instead of responding aggressively to express our anger can we find another method where we can release some tension. Well we can use some anger management techniques to cope with our angry feelings. The best way I cope with my anger is to calm my inside anger, which will calm down my future expression on an innocent victim. I shared how I calm my anger down, but I want to know how do you control your anger?

Imagine your daily life routine for a moment. First you get out of bed, go to the bathroom, get dressed, eat your breakfast, and then either go to your school or to your job. All day your work very hard to accomplish your daily goals. Then you come home have your dinner and then… an over powering feeling comes over the body. Your eye lids get heavier, your body feels loose, and you are ready for your cloud of relaxation. What you are feeling is the sensation of sleep. Sleep makes the person happier because without sleep a person’s mood dramatically changes for the worse. But now imagine your daily routine but without the ability of being able to sleep. 😦

Many of you might be thinking that it is impossible for a person not to be able to sleep, but then think of the symptom of insomnia. Insomnia is “difficulty initiating or maintaining sleep or both, and it may be caused by inadequate quality or sleep of quality” (http://www.emedicinehealth.com/insomnia/article_em.htm).

Many people have experienced insomnia in some way, shape, or form. There are three different types of insomnia. The first is transient insomnia characterized by not being able to sleep for less than a week. The second is short-term insomnia, which lasts from one to three weeks. Third is chronic insomnia which lasts more than three weeks (http://www.emedicinehealth.com/insomnia/article_em.htm). For most of us insomnia can happen a couple of weeks a night, but when it becomes chronic that is where the problems start to show up. Some psychological causes for insomnia are related to anxiety, stress, schizophrenia, mania, and depression. In a way it seems normal to have some nights where sleep is not an option because of the stress in one’s life, but when it gets too out of hand one should seek medical or psychological treatment to resolve the issue.

Yoga has become an exercise practice of mainstream America. Many people perform this exercise because the exercise combines deep breathing and meditation, which can improve one’s overall physical fitness, strength, flexibility and lung capacity (apa.org). Although yoga helps physical fitness there is more one can benefit from this exercise. For those of you that practice yoga did you know the mental health benefits that come along with it. According to Amy Novotney and her article yoga can be used as a practice tool to better one’s mental health.

Novotney suggests that yoga can be combined  with   psychotherapy to  strengthen social attachments, reduce stress and relieve anxiety, depression and insomnia. With many people having these disorders how cool is it to perform an exercise that you love while at the same time alleviating an aversive feeling. I simply think it is amazing! Now many of you might be wondering how yoga can be so powerful in reducing these unwanted symptoms. According to  Sat Bir Khalsa, PhD of Harvard Medical School, that by practicing yoga it reduces the stress response, which induces the activity of the sympathetic nervous system and the levels of stress hormone cortisol. The practice also enhances resilience and improves mind-body awareness, which can help the person adjust their behaviors based on the way their body is feeling. The more I read the more I find this surprising. Basically when one feels happy after completing their yoga exercise instead of feeling the stress that they were feeling before they can relieve the stress that was bottled up inside. This is something that one can use to change their lifestyle practices because as it turns out over 15 million American practice yoga so that is enough proof that something is working!

It is amazing the different obstacles one can face in their life and how one can feel like there is no way to get out of the situation. Many of us are faced with situations such as juvenile delinquency, substance abuse, abused relationships, and different things that just bring us down. Since we are faced with so many of these obstacles how does one find a way to over come such situations. One of the ways to overcome a hard situation is through resiliency.

Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from bad experiences, or thrive in spite of hard times and difficulties ( www.embracethefuture.org.au). It turns out that we all have resilient abilities in us, but it just depends on how clearly one shows their resilient abilities. For example, when my dad passed away it was the hardest time of my life, but I managed to get through the hard time. I spent a lot of my time focusing on my school work and spending times with my friends. Both aspects in my life allowed me to jump back and recuperate  through my loss. Something else that made me resilient was the fact that I was able to be realistic about the situation. If I kept staying the same way I was it was never going to bring my dad back. Then I thought about how my dad was always proud of the things I did in life. Another factor that made me find my way back in my life was to think about how I can accomplish all my goals that me and my dad had talked about. Losing a loved one is never easy there is always a way to overcome the hardship and find your spot back in life.

Imagine living your whole life close to your family, friends, and all other people who leave a lasting impression in your life.  Imagine not being able to identify people who were your everything. Imagine your son saying, “hi mom” and  you reply “who are you I have no son!” Imagine forgetting how to tie your shoes, chew your food, breath, and even swallow your food. If you think this is not possible think again! People who have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease probably don’t realize this, but if they could acknowledge the change that has happened to them they would be able to tell you.

Alzheimer’s disease destroys brain cells, causing memory loss and problems with think and behavior severe enough to affect work, life long hobbies, or social life (www.alz.org). As the person ages the brain naturally slows down but with Alzheimer’s the person becomes extremely slow and the brain cells die and deteriorate. The most common form of this disease is dementia. Dementia is simply the term used for memory loss and other intellectual abilities serious enough to interfere with the person’s daily life (www.alz.org). Having dementia ruins the person’s life because not being able to remember how to do certain things that occupied their lives is a major change. Since Alzheimer’s is the seventh leading cause of death in the United States, and not only that 5.3 million people are affected by this disease (www.alz.org). The disease will eventually lead to death with the person forgetting how to breathe and will suffocate to death.

Alzheimer’s disease is a scary disease and although there are no cures for this disease I wonder what can be done if anything to prevent the disease.